Life is a Cruel Mistress

Posted on February 5, 2022 by LarryArcher

Have you ever wanted to stick your finger in a light socket to see if it really hurts? Or what could go wrong when you rode a shopping cart down a steep hill in San Franciso? I don’t think it would hurt at all. On the other hand, I know I would crash into something soft.

Let me tell you, friends, life sucks the big one! As my mom tells me, “You never learn your lesson unless it hurts!”

My quest to publish my erotic stories in paperback has turned into Monty Python’s Search For the Holy Grail, except for the coconut carrying swallows (European or African). I’d always hoped to find the Castle Anthrax with “8 score young blondes and brunettes…, all between sixteen and 19-and-a-half…, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh…, it is a lonely life. Bathing…, dressing…, undressing…, knitting exciting underwear….”

I especially love that the castle was cold, and the girl’s outfits were so thin and showed every bump.

Sorry, got distracted!

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Posted in About, adult, am writing, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, foxy and larry, humorous, kinky literature, News, NSFW, paperback publishing, Print (Paperback), Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , , | 15 Comments

My Masochistic Love Affair With QuarkXPress Continues

Posted on February 2, 2022 by LarryArcher
Cuckold Club - First Date
Cuckold Club – First Date

Like a pervert in a raincoat with a bag of candy and a picture of his lost puppy, I can’t get enough of QuarkXPress. I guess it’s the pain reward part of my brain that seeks abuse and excitement from seeing my erotic stories in print on actual paper. Can you have Stockholm Syndrome with software?

As a long-time user of QuarkXPress for creating print documents, just when you think you’ve mastered the program, it knees you in the gonads. Quark is a man’s software for manly men, not for pussies or the faint of heart. But, like in high school, when you and another stud muffin would put your arms together and lay a lit cigarette in the crease to find out who flinches first, Quark takes no prisoners.

I know I could use In Design, but I dislike Adobe and other companies that rent you their software instead of selling it to you. If I bought it, I should own it and be able to regift it. Besides writing porn stories, I also do a lot of photography and use a high-end Canon digital camera. Unfortunately, Adobe got smart, and now you have to pay a monthly fee to use their Lightroom program for processing digital images. I got hooked on Lightroom when you could own it and have over 100,000 photos in Lightroom that I’d rather not convert to some other piece of software. Adobe knows this, and it struck them that rather than just sticking their hand in your back pocket once, they can do it forever.

No use beating a dead horse. I just suck it up and move on.

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Posted in adult, am writing, cuckold, cuckolding, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, First Time, Hotwife, humorous, kinky literature, masturbation, NSFW, paperback publishing, Print (Paperback), Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“Cuckold Hotwife Box Set #1” Now in Print

Posted on February 2, 2022 by LarryArcher
My Wife Is A Porn Star

Now, if I just had a Gutenburg press in the basement, I’d be in business. Well, I’d be happy if I had a basement. I grew up in Texas without a basement then lived in the midwest with one. You needed a basement to hide from the tornados, plus it’s an excellent place for a darkroom. I donated my darkroom to the local college photography department as they still develop and print pictures. Now with digital cameras, photos are instant, and you don’t have to pick them up at the drugstore with greasy fingerprints on them.

Cuckold Hotwife Box Set #1 weighs in at 340 pages, and I can’t wait to get my hands on it. It’s currently under review by Amazon, and with any luck, it’ll be out for purchase within a day or so.

The box set includes “A Night At The Bar,” “A Hotwife Is Born,” and “My Wife Is A Porn Star.” These are all cuckold Hotwife movies where the guys get to watch their cheating wives in action. I used the cover from My Wife is a Porn Star for the book’s cover. I love that image, and it’s always been one of my favorites.

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Posted in adult, am writing, cuckold, cuckolding, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, foxy and larry, gangbang, Hotwife, humorous, kinky literature, masturbation, NSFW, paperback publishing, Print (Paperback), Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Larry’s P&L Statement

Posted on January 30, 2022 by LarryArcher

Cuckold Club - First Date
Cuckold Club – First Date

Most companies put out a P&L Statement or Profit and Loss. Today, I took stock of my own P&L and was worried about what I discovered.

On the good side, I just finished publishing Cuckold Club: First Date, which, as the title suggests, is a Hotwife story. As I converted the original electronic version to a print version, I realized that it was a pretty damn good story. But, unfortunately, it’s been out for a while, and the details have faded away like trying to remember your last lap dance before COVID. Or like trying to cop a feel as you were stuffing dollar bills into the dancer’s g-string.

For a writer of erotica, I’m not sure it is acceptable behavior to wack off to your own porn, but I had forgotten what a good story it was. Most of my smut is about swingers or Hotwives with detours in Unicorn land. Well, then there are the BDSM stories, but they are not too dirty as Wifey beats her subs and gives them what they’ve secretly lusted after.

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Posted in adult, am writing, cuckold, cuckolding, Erotic Stories, Erotic Sttories, erotica, Erotika, foxy and larry, Hotwife, kinky literature, masturbation, NSFW, paperback publishing, Print (Paperback), Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Swingers Lead an Interesting Life

Posted on January 29, 2022 by LarryArcher

As COVID surges around us, partying with someone else’s wife doesn’t sound as appetizing when you have to wear a mask to do the dirty deed. While being vaxxed and boosted, we’re still paranoid about getting up close and personal with others. I’ve even started to think about the good ole days and the fun we used to have.

Once, I remember when a pizza delivery guy showed up in the middle of a small party as we were lying naked in a pile. I looked up from the family room floor to see some dude standing there with a pizza box in his hand. Apparently, one of the girls got hungry and called in for pizza delivery.

The delivery guy got a blowjob as a tip, which probably made his night. While he was getting serviced, I looked out through our glass storm doors to see his car parked in the middle of the street with the door open and the engine running. We all laughed about the fact that his car was sitting in the street for almost an hour running.

But it pissed off my wife, as the delivery came from our favorite pizza place, and she refused to ever order from them again. She still grumbles to this day if someone mentions the woman’s name who ordered the pizza.

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Posted in About, adult, am writing, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, foxy and larry, Hotwife, humorous, kinky literature, lesbian, masturbation, NSFW, sexy girls, Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

“cuckold Club – First Date” by Larry Archer

Posted on January 28, 2022 by LarryArcher
Cuckold Club - First Date
Cuckold Club – First Date

For all you cuckold fans who fantasize about watching your Hotwife having sex with well-built Bulls, Larry Archer’s story should be right up your alley. However, for those of you who have somehow missed this kink, Cuckold Club – First Date will throw you into the deep end without floaties! And no I purposefully wrote “cuckold” as lower case. cuckold is always lower case to emphasize who is in charge here. For the same reason, Hotwife is always capitalized to ensure you know who is in control.

I’ve written a number of blog posts about cuckolds and Hotwives, click on this link or search my site for more info. Our closest couple is a fortyish beautiful blonde Hotwife with a voluptuous body and jugs to die for. When you look up nymphomaniac in the dictionary, her picture is usually there.

Her husband is always watching and taking pictures while abusing himself. The only complaint is that he shakes the camera while videoing his Hotwife with her Bull.

Most people will agree that an older woman is better in bed as they usually hit their sexual peak while their cuckold husbands are starting to fade.

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Posted in adult, cuckold, cuckolding, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, First Time, Hotwife, kinky literature, masturbation, NSFW, sexy girls, Swinging, voyeurism | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Entire House Party Series Now Available in Print

Posted on January 25, 2022 by LarryArcher
House Party

Sunday, I was unstoppable and finished publishing House Party 2, 3, and 4 in paperback. I’ve still got a couple of issues with QuarkXPress but for the most part have figured out how to get around the kinks in their system. I’m on a first name basis with the head of their development team and I’ve been surprised that he hasn’t blocked my number. Being a software developer in a past life, gives me insight on how to help them zero in on resolving issues.

It was pretty cool to start with the basic document file for the eBook versions and punch that out into a completely different format, was neat. The first book, House Party, took most of a day to convert to print format. Then I did three books in one day!

Just sending an email with “Your product sucks!” or “it doesn’t work” is not very helpful to most programmers. You have to provide them with examples and exactly how to reproduce the problem. It’s time consuming on my part but if I like a product, it only benefits me to help make it better.

I guess not being able to go to house parties has freed me to get mine out the door. I even refreshed Stripper or Nurse? in print and republished it. Slaving over a hot keyboard, that’s me!

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Posted in About, adult, am writing, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, foxy and larry, humorous, kinky literature, lesbian, NSFW, paperback publishing, Print (Paperback), Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

“I’ll Do Anything For Love, But I Won’t Do That!”

Posted on January 22, 2022 by LarryArcher

With a heavy heart, I learned of the passing of Meatloaf, one of the giants of rock and roll. As a lover of cult and obscure SyFy movies, Foxy and I have attended many Rocky Horror Picture Show showings. While the moviegoers have gotten a little long in the tooth, attending a theatre event is something many “normal” people have never seen.

Years ago, we attended our first Rocky Horror with a fellow couple in the Lifestyle. For the uninitiated, you need a scorecard or Rocky fan to tell you what’s happening in the aisles. Brad and Janet are a naïve, newly married couple who stumble onto the castle of Doctor Frank N Furter, a.k.a. Tim Curry, who is having a party.

As the moviegoers danced in the aisle and did the Time Warp, we were surprised to find that the entire audience would scream “SLUT!” every time Janet would appear. And when Brad appeared, it was “ASSHOLE!”

“It’s just a jump to the left.”

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“Stripper or Nurse?” Back In ICU

Posted on January 18, 2022 by LarryArcher

While aggravating, it seems appropriate that Amazon’s latest missive from their bitches in the rejection department are now telling me that my latest print book, Stripper or Nurse? has a bleed issue!

The print version of Stripper or Nurse? was released several years back. With my newfound urges to offer my smut in print form, I decided to update the book and republish it in Quark. While there wasn’t anything specifically wrong with the original release, I just can’t seem from stopping myself when I get an idea. As an engineer, I tend to be OCD and anal about somethings and just couldn’t help myself.

First, they rejected the book because I didn’t include all the words from the title in the electronic version on the cover of the print book. Who would have thought that they would care about some minor detail? So, I fired up CorelDRAW and fixed the cover or so I thought.

This morning, I find another vindictive email in my inbox telling me that my cover has a bleed issue. I already knew that but didn’t think it would be an issue as the faux nurse on the cover would divert the reader’s attention to her long legs.

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Posted in About, adult, am writing, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, kinky literature, NSFW, paperback publishing, Print (Paperback), Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

“Coffee, Tea, or Me?” Featured at Kinky Literature

Posted on January 17, 2022 by LarryArcher
Coffee, Tea, or ME?

My good friends at Kinky Literature are featuring one of my erotic stories, Coffee, Tea, or Me?, today at KinkyLiterature.com. It’s based on an actual event that happened after my wife won a poker tournament in Las Vegas. Naturally, the names have been changed to protect the guilty!

How better to celebrate than with a newly divorced server from the high rollers private club?

Following is a brief public service commercial for KinkyLiterature.com

As an author of self-published erotica, advertising my wares is always difficult. I don’t have the staff or budget of a full-fledged publishing house and have to rely on other means to get the word out.

KinkyLiterature.com is a great source for both readers and writers of erotica, and I can’t say enough good things about them. Erotic stories for your electronic devices are somewhat like the magazines that you buy from under the counter, and the clerk quickly puts them in a brown paper bag.

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Posted in About, adult, am writing, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, First Time, foxy and larry, humorous, kinky literature, Las Vegas, lesbian, masturbation, NSFW, sexy girls, Swinging, voyeurism, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments