My Masochistic Love Affair With QuarkXPress Continues

Cuckold Club - First Date
Cuckold Club – First Date

Like a pervert in a raincoat with a bag of candy and a picture of his lost puppy, I can’t get enough of QuarkXPress. I guess it’s the pain reward part of my brain that seeks abuse and excitement from seeing my erotic stories in print on actual paper. Can you have Stockholm Syndrome with software?

As a long-time user of QuarkXPress for creating print documents, just when you think you’ve mastered the program, it knees you in the gonads. Quark is a man’s software for manly men, not for pussies or the faint of heart. But, like in high school, when you and another stud muffin would put your arms together and lay a lit cigarette in the crease to find out who flinches first, Quark takes no prisoners.

I know I could use In Design, but I dislike Adobe and other companies that rent you their software instead of selling it to you. If I bought it, I should own it and be able to regift it. Besides writing porn stories, I also do a lot of photography and use a high-end Canon digital camera. Unfortunately, Adobe got smart, and now you have to pay a monthly fee to use their Lightroom program for processing digital images. I got hooked on Lightroom when you could own it and have over 100,000 photos in Lightroom that I’d rather not convert to some other piece of software. Adobe knows this, and it struck them that rather than just sticking their hand in your back pocket once, they can do it forever.

No use beating a dead horse. I just suck it up and move on.

Cuckold Club: First Date is now out in print as well as electronic format for those of you who like to read a book with the pages stuck together. My good friends at Kinky Literature are kind enough to feature it today to fill that need for reading a good porn story.

Richie and Randi of Kinky Literature provide a solution to finding the best porn around. The only thing they do is link you to the stories written by the best authors of erotica. They make their money from referral fees, and it doesn’t cost the purchaser a red cent to buy through Kinky Literature. By focusing on erotic literature, you don’t have to wade through travel or cookbooks to find that needed addition to your reading room, a.k.a. the bathroom.

Like a bass fisherperson, who gently tugs on the rod to set the hook, I’m offering an x-rated excerpt of Cuckold Club: First Date, guaranteed to make your credit card stick to your fingers. Possibly, it’s because your fingers are already sticky but let’s not quibble over details.

To whet your appetite, check out the X-rated excerpt below.

Ted scanned the bar and watched the tall brunette sitting by herself, her short skirt barely covered her behind as she sipped her martini while swinging a black high heel shoe that dangled off her toes. The shoe was precariously balanced and seemed to call out to the guys in the bar as it swung.

She turned and looked around the bar, like a lioness picking out her next meal. As she twisted around, Ted could almost see her nipple through the gap in her top. She wore a short red wrap dress that exposed her beautiful tanned limbs. The woman had loosened the tie, holding the dress together, and pulled it apart until the opening went almost to her navel.

There was no evidence of a tan line, proving to everyone that she likely laid out in the nude to get the glowing tan she exposed to the crowd of young men in the bar. The Hookup was widely known as the place married women went to get laid, and it was apparent to Ted that the crowd of middle-aged to older women and young college-age guys all had one thing on their mind.

His attention returned to the beautiful brunette as an older guy hit on her. The mature gentleman was wearing an expensive suit, but the woman wasn’t looking for money but dick. After a few minutes of conversation, Ted saw the woman shake her head, and the older guy moved off down the bar to try again.

This is more like it, Ted thought as a young guy, possibly twenty-five, sat down beside the brunette. He was tall, with a muscular build, and it is evident that the brunette was attracted to him. She leaned towards the young man as they spoke, making sure he could look down her dress and feast on her gorgeous unfettered breasts. Ted could just imagine the sight of her braless tits as they swung enticingly in front of the young man’s eyes.

They laughed at some joke, and the young guy motioned to the bartender to refill the woman’s drink. Ted could see them scooting closer together, and the brunette tapped on the young man’s leg, emphasizing some comment they shared.

As Ted watched, the woman squeezed the young man’s leg and lightly stroked it in a casual way that appeared to be innocent, but the man reacted to her touch by whispering in her ear something that made her smile. The woman looked directly at Ted as her young suitor kissed the woman on the cheek. She closed her eyes as the young stud nibbled on her ear and whispered sweet nothings.

Ted continued to watch as the two love birds became more animated. The woman gulped down half her drink then put the glass back on the bar. Then she turned to him and kissed him on the lips. The young man was surprised but recovered quickly and put his hand on the inside of her thigh.

She spread her legs for the young man as he ran his fingers up and down her bare flesh. Ted could see the woman shudder with delight as the college student continued to stroke the woman’s body. Her nipple came partially into view as the opening of her dress slowly opened to the young man’s gaze.

A sly smile crossed her face as she allowed the man to look at her bare breast for a moment before casually pulling her dress partially together. Then she leaned towards the younger man and kissed him again. Ted couldn’t believe that he was watching her get seduced right in front of his eyes.

The young man’s hand was slowly disappearing under her short skirt until Ted saw her eyes open wide for a second and then slowly close while placing her hand on his arm. Ted thought that the woman would push his hand away, but it quickly was apparent that she was encouraging him to keep going.

It was apparent that the young man was the one being seduced and not the older woman.

That’s when Ted noticed the woman was stroking the man’s erection with her fingertips. Even though he was maybe twenty feet away in the dimly lit bar, it was apparent that the woman was tracing the outline of the young man’s cock with her fingers.

Ted felt like a voyeur watching the older woman and the younger good-looking guy make out at the bar. His dick probably wasn’t as hard as the guy’s, but it was a turn-on to watch this play out in front of him. Most of the people didn’t notice the two of them beyond a few standing close by.

He could see a couple of guys staring at the couple while the woman stroked his dick and allowed the college boy to have his hand up her skirt. But, of course, with the top of her dress gaping open, exposing her charms was also an incentive for the men to stare.

Ted gulped down his beer and ran his fingers through his hair as he watched the two lovers get more animated by the minute. He soon saw the woman nod towards an empty booth, and a smile spread across the younger man’s face.

They got off their bar stools and walked over to the booth. The young man casually laid his hand on the woman’s ass, and she looped her arm around him while rubbing her hip against his. They both slid into one side of the booth and immediately started making out.

As they kissed, Ted watched the young man put his hand into the woman’s dress and fondle her boob. He could see her nipple instantly harden to his touch while her tongue was in the young guy’s mouth. Ted wondered if they would fuck in the booth, or maybe she would give him a blowjob, right in the middle of the bar.

Ted’s dick was aching as he watched the two love birds make out like a pair of horny teenagers right in front of everyone in the bar. But, of course, it was pretty evident that these two were not the only fired-up couples in the lounge. The Hookup certainly lived up to its reputation as a fertile hunting ground for horny cheating housewives.

As he was absorbed in the spectacle of a beautiful older woman with a younger virile man, Ted sensed someone nearby. Looking around, he realized that an older gentleman had slid into the booth across from him.

“Hi, my name is Roger,” the man said as he extended his hand across the table.

“Ted,” was his reply as he shook the man’s hand while turning back to watch the couple making out.

“She’s pretty hot, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous,” Ted replied.

“Is this your first time?” Roger asked.

“First time?” Ted questioned.

“That your wife picked up some guy?”

“How did you know that was my wife?”

“I saw you two outside in the lobby together. Your wife is a knockout, and you should be proud of her?”

“And you know what we are up to?” Ted asked.

“Look down at the end of the bar and check out the blond with the surfer dude. That’s my wife!” The older man said.

“Your wife?” Ted questioned.

“Exactly,” Roger replied. “And I can help you.”


“Have you been working up to this night? I’m assuming your wife is planning on getting lucky?”

“Before, it was mostly playing around and a little grab-ass at the bar. Tonight I told her that it was alright to sleep with someone,” Ted confessed.

“Where are they going?”

“I don’t know. We didn’t discuss that.”

“Can you send her a text that he won’t see?” Roger asked.


“Text her and have her meet you in the hallway outside the bathrooms, then give her this key card. The room number is on the envelope, and they can use the room to take care of business,” Roger told him as he handed over a room key in a small envelope. “Do it now before they make other arrangements.”

Ted pulled out his phone and sent the text message to his wife.

Roger said, “Go wait in the hallway and give her this key card and tell her to take her date there.”

Ted numbly walked towards the hallway and glanced over to see his wife reading the message on her phone. She glanced up to look at him as he walked past their booth.

What am I doing? I’m facilitating my wife getting fucked by a total stranger, Ted thought, but he could feel his dick throbbing in anticipation.

He paced the hallway. On the one hand, the idea his wife was going to get her brains fucked out was so exciting, but on the other hand, the realization that he was giving her permission made a cold sweat break out on his forehead. Then, before he had much time to think about it, his wife walked into the hallway.

“Ted, what’s going on? Did you change your mind?” Serena asked.

“No, here’s a key to a room you two can use,” Ted replied as he handed his wife the key card. “The room number is on the envelope. I love you.”

“I love you too, and thank you,” his wife replied. “I promise I’ll tell you everything that happens. Every dirty detail of what we do together,” Serena said as she kissed him and put the key in her clutch purse.

“I need to know how big his dick is?”

Serena grinned, “Don’t worry, I’ll take a dic pic for you, and hopefully, I can take the whole thing!”

“Oh, God! Is he that big?”

“Biggest cock I’ve ever felt, and I can’t wait to get it in me. Thank you, Baby. I can’t thank you enough for letting me have him. I’ve had a couple of drinks to make sure I don’t chicken out,” Serena gushed. “I promise, I’ll put on a good show for you and get selfies. Do you want to see it in my mouth or pussy?”

“How about both?”

“In any particular order?” Serena giggled.

“Maybe mouth, pussy, mouth?” Ted suggested.

“You want me to suck his dick after he’s fucked me?” Serena asked for confirmation. “Then I guess you’ll want to kiss me to make sure I taste like cum?”

“You’ll really suck the cum off his dick?” Ted asked, surprised at what his wife admitted so casually.

“Yeah, and my pussy juice also!” Serena laughed. “I know, I’m a slut, and I’m realizing that I love it! So maybe I’ll give him my other hole?”

“But, we’ve never done that before?” Ted asked.

“Keep in mind, your dick is not as big as his, and I think I’d like to try it out everywhere. Any more questions, as I need to get going so he can get some, then I can come home and tell you all about it, every sloppy detail?”

“Have fun,” Ted said, and then he kissed his wife.

“Here, hang on to these for me. I don’t think I’ll need them,” Serena giggled and pressed her wet thong into his palm. Then she turned and walked back into the bar.

Ted pressed his wife’s soaked panties against his nose and inhaled the scent of her sex deep into his lungs. He watched the sway of her ass as she walked into the arms of another man.

End of the Excerpt for Cuckold Club – First Date

About LarryArcher

Larry Archer's the name, smut's my game. I am a writer of erotic literature that's generally always HEA (Happily Ever After), which typically involves no regrets sex. I write in a humorous style with a plot and suitable for reading with one hand. My stories are full of sexual situations that are often taken straight from our swinger lifestyle in Las Vegas. If you want to enjoy erotica, where every page is dripping with action, give me a try.
This entry was posted in adult, am writing, cuckold, cuckolding, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, First Time, Hotwife, humorous, kinky literature, masturbation, NSFW, paperback publishing, Print (Paperback), Swinging, voyeurism, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to My Masochistic Love Affair With QuarkXPress Continues

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    That reminds me of the early versions of WordPerfect; it took a bit of patience and skill to make it do what you needed it to do but the damned program had a mind of its own… or was written by Mr. Murphy and always screwed up when I didn’t need it screwing up. As I recall, they were among the first to give WYSIWYG a go and it worked… most of the time. Printed out a document typed in 12pt, went to the printer, and saw my doc printed out in 18pt and… Kanji. Opened the part of WordPerfect that allowed me to see the embedded coding – that was such a cool feature – and saw that the damned thing changed my font and I know I hadn’t done it.

    Early versions of Lotus were bad with their copy protection crap; if the program suffered a fatal error, you couldn’t just delete and reinstall it – you had to call Lotus and get permission and then prove that you legitimately owned the software before they turned you into a programmer to be able to reset the software to be able to reinstall it and even with the enterprise-level software.

    Such a major pain in the ass. Was like that cigarette thing you mentioned while being covered in white phosphorus…

    Liked by 1 person

    • LarryArcher says:

      To top it off, I just got the 2022 version of QuarkXPress installed today so I can start to discover its quirks.


      • kdaddy23 says:

        Have fun. I have learned that getting used to a new version of a quirky program can be… interesting since whenever they fix some stuff, improve features, etc., they usually tend to screw something else up in the process so, yeah – have fun with that.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t blame you for hating software subscriptions. For one thing, you have no control. You’re forced to upgrade if that’s what they decide. Meanwhile, you have zero control over your privacy.

    Anyway, keep up the good work…!

    Liked by 1 person

    • LarryArcher says:

      Amazon rejected my cover for my latest print book and the reason makes no sense that I can see but after responding to their help desk, I got an email from a person who said he was going to help me. He didn’t offer an email address and all I could do was reply to his email. Hopefully, it will get resolved or maybe they will give a more informative response as to why it was rejected?


  3. LarryArcher says:


    So far it looks like they’ve fixed at least one problem that was causing me a fair amount of extra work. I’ve put a rule (thin line) at the top and bottom of the pages to make it look fancier. But what I discovered was that Quark would at times duplicate the rules and put them offset. This meant I had to go back and delete them by hand on each page. Yesterday I did that on about 300 pages which was aggravating. I finally removed the rules but it didn’t remove the extra rules only mine. Today I’m working on a different book using the 2022 software and so far the rules haven’t shown up. I should be able to finish it tonight and send it off for approval.

    There was also an apparent memory problem as the display would screw up when I had Quark, Photoshop, and Corel running at the same time. My i7 machine had 24Gb of ram and I increased that this afternoon to 32Gb, which is the maximum my motherboard supports. If I ran Quark alone the display didn’t get screwed up so I’m guessing it was a memory leak or maybe Quark is not respecting its memory allocation. I’ll know in a few days if the newer version of Quark is more bug-free.

    Like one thing is that when you do a File Save As, Quark doesn’t shift to the new file. The old original file is still the current one. With all other Windows software when you do a Save As, you start working on the new file. I keep forgetting that and end up screwing up the older file when I meant to change the new file. Muscle memory strikes again.


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