What Am I Writing? Or Did I Forget My Meds?
By Larry Archer
Caution, this is another long post so get a fresh cup of coffee before starting.
This is my third blog post for ERWA, and I’ve been conflicted as DropBox calls it. You know when you forget to close a DropBox document on one computer then you open the document and edit it on another computer. DropBox raps you across the knuckles like the nun in third-grade with her ruler.
While I’ve never had the pleasure of going to Catholic school and feel they failed miserably with my wife. Maybe the fact that she skipped out and went to public high school that she now has a rekindled desire for little school girl outfits but hey, who’s complaining? Those black shiny Mary Janes and ruffled white ankle socks are so neat. It’s just hard to find Mary Janes with 6-inch spike heels.
I’m writing this on my new MacBook Air and trying not to choke my chicken when I see her lying there, all opened up like a beautiful woman, who’s begging me to touch her with my fingers, the MBA that is.
Like the guy sitting on a park bench, in his raincoat, clutching a bag of candy with greasy fingers waiting for school to be over, the MBA loves me, but we have to be careful because my wife’s getting suspicious about our “alone time” in the bathroom.
I’ve always been a Windows kind of guy and not like my friend Jack who likes to stand outside and watch his wife through the bedroom window. Like everyone else, I bought into the theory that Apple people had drunk the Kool-Aid else why would they spend a bunch more money for a laptop with a half-eaten apple on it?
Going on six years or 3-raincoats ago, I was frustrated with my then Windows laptop. Sort of like Ray Charles, I could close my eyes and let the fevered scene play out between my ears as my fingers tried desperately to keep up with the action.
Then I’d look down and realize that I’d written a page of garbage because I’d mistyped some prose with my fingers on the wrong keys. Mr. Rogers my high school typing teacher would rip the yellow sheet out of my Underwood and scream, “Archer, all you’re good for is writing shit they keep behind the counter in a brown paper bag!”
As we all know, when you’ve tried everything else to solve a problem, throw money at it! By this time, I’d been through three laptops, and Wifey was getting suspicious about the fact my credit card statement was starting to smoke when you pulled it out of the envelope. In desperation, I bought a 2012 MBA, and it was love at first sight. Open her up, and she would instantly light up like a drunk college girl, ready for action and no foreplay required. She never told me no and never had a headache. To touch her was exquisite, your fingers fall naturally on the keys, and the touch is like a mechanical keyboard, without all the clicking noises.
To be able to type with one-tenth the level of mistakes and a battery that never went down on you. I was hooked and wanted more, much more until I got seduced by a new line of Windows laptops.
Since the MacBook Air’s seemed to lose favor with their CPU’s slipping further and further behind, I jumped ship and bought a high-end Windows 10 machine with the top box checked in every category.
My wife being a Luddite and who struggles to understand how to operate a light switch, it only seemed natural to re-gift my trusted MBA to her. I was surprised to see how quickly she became adept with the 3-pound marvel.
I, on the other hand, started to beat my head against the wall. My new machine’s touchpad had a mind of its own and apparently didn’t need any help from me to make mistakes. I spent hours with tech support and even had the touchpad replaced to no avail. Others on the vendor’s website were similarly upset.
Foxy said that she’d give me my Air back, but I couldn’t do that and just struggled in silence. Certainly, my new machine was cool, huge hard drive, bunches of memory, fast i7 processor, but using it always managed to piss me off.
One day she asked me to help to do something on her computer, and as soon as my fingers touched the keyboard, I was back in love. It’s kind of like when you’re doing the neighbor’s wife and will steal little touches when no one is looking, but that’s a whole different post.
After that brief illicit moment, I went right down and bought a new MacBook Air with a 3-generation old CPU but no matter, I’m back in love again. Of course the day my new MBA was delivered, I read that Apple is going to bring out an updated Air in the next few months!
I know that you’re telling yourself, this post is supposed to be about what I’m writing and not about my forbidden love affair with my machine, sort of like Wifey and her LeLo vibrator, except without all the buzzing.
My latest story, “Crashing a Swinger’s Pajama Party,” is rapidly coming to a finish and I thought I’d share a little with you about the story as it’s been a real hoot.
Lisabet Sarai and I converse a fair amount off-list about writing and story ideas. I mentioned to her that we’d had a straight couple crash one of our New Year’s Eve Pajama Parties and she suggested that we create a story based on it.
We keep trying to write a story together, but our styles of writing bump heads and we can never seem to get our stories straight, “Fake News!”
But I’m slowly getting the impression that we’re starting to rub off on each other. I’m learning to type with my little finger stuck out, and she seems to be getting more comfortable with her mind wallowing in the gutter. Sort of like that little sailboat and the clown in the sewer drain.
Anyway, I was telling Lisabet about the time we had one of our straight neighbors crash our annual New Year’s Eve Pajama Parties. For some years now we’ve hosted a pajama party to welcome in the new year. It gives kissing under the mistletoe, a whole new meaning.
The PJ party is typically 50-60 couples plus an assortment of unicorns that we run with and 2-3 single guys thrown in for good measure. There is always an assortment of people from around the country that we’ve met in our travels. So by midnight, there are well more than one-hundred naked or semi-naked people in our house. Victoria Secret is proud of us!
We carefully select the invitees and make sure that no one is invited that could cause a problem. Most of the people are professionals, doctors, business owners, and a handful of elected officials, not including the cops. Cops, doctors, and nurses are some of the most perverted when they let their hair down. We have to be really careful who we invite as some of our party animals are also on the social pages and being outed would not be a good thing.
Anyway, after midnight, the doorbell rings and me being the idiot I am, answer the door. Standing in front of me is an attractive couple and dressed to the nines. It was the couple, we somewhat knew from down the street, and I’m standing there with a short bathrobe on and nothing else.
It was somewhat embarrassing, but they asked if they could join our party as theirs was a snooze fest. Not knowing what to do I invited them in. Foxy joined me, and she was wearing her typical New Year’s outfit of an adult sized pair of kid’s long johns with bunnies on it. Except she wears it with all the buttons undone and so is open down to her bellybutton.
You can imagine their shock to see an orgy going on in the living room and all the people running around in teddies or much less.
We invited them to stay, but I think the shock value was too much. This is where the story Lisabet and I are working on diverged from actuality.
She fired back with a suggested list of chapters, and we were off to the races.
With our sick minds, it was easy to suck the new couple in and throw them to the wolves. Greg, the dominating always in charge husband quickly discovered that he really wasn’t in control at all, courtesy of Foxy and her assortment of painful toys. Greg’s new word of the day was “pegged.”
Samantha, the otherwise “normal” housewife, was quickly divested of clothes as she realized that she was at an all-you-can-eat buffet or maybe the main course, depending on which end was up.
My stories are always HEA, but I keep getting told that a story needs conflict and resolution, yet mine always seem to lack conflict as everyone is too busy getting laid to fight. So it only seemed natural for Samantha to give Greg his walking papers and move in with the swingers down the street. She quickly discovered that it was a lot more fun to play, “hide the weenie,” with the neighborhood perverts.
But poor Greg was sent home with our real life cuckold – Hotwife couple, Pam and Jack, who proceed to take him within an inch of his life while giving him a sunburn with studio lights. If you look up nymphomaniac in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of our friend Pam, who is one of our resident MILFs. Jack is typically hiding in the closet watching or behind his movie camera.
So now I’ve gotten the neighbors split up, but so far they’ve not realized that they are the conflict part of my story. Greg has figured out that there is truth to the story of being screwed to death but is trying to soldier on. He’s afraid of coming back to our house as the last time Foxy and our redheaded Amazon Chrissy took turns pegging him. But he seems to be a good sport about everything, well except for the beatings!
Naturally, we didn’t want his wife to feel left out as she seemed to be enthralled by the idea of a gangbang and pulling a train. Why should we let her miss that experience? Now every time she hears a train whistle, she feels a tingle between her legs!
The story now stands over 40,000 words, and I’m trying to get the estranged couple back together again so the story can end up HEA. Lisabet and I are planning on co-releasing two stories in the next couple of months, so I should have time to finish it up. I’m looking at this blog post’s word count, and it’s at 1,700 words, and I’ve been trying to hold my posts down to under 1,000 words but not having much success.
Since I’ve blown it again, I’ll throw in an excerpt from “Crashing a Swinger’s Pajama Party,” at least that’s the current working title.
Greg and Samantha have returned home from their first taste of forbidden fruit and trying to deal with their emotions. Coming home from a swinger’s party is kind of like being on your honeymoon when there is only one thing on your mind. You’d think people would have gotten enough of it at the party but for some reason, afterward, your sex drive is set to warp 10.
Excerpt – Contains gratuitous NSA bareback sex scenes, with nudity, explicit descriptions, and other smut. You’re warned! It’s probably best if you turned back now.
* * * Excerpt * * *
Greg had never been so conflicted in his life, they had just left a party that was so far beyond anything he had ever imagined or could have possibly fantasized about. On the one hand, his dick was so hard that it was aching yet he struggled to not be mad at his wife as he could see her slut side coming out.
Shocked would not come close to describing his emotions as they had walked into a house full of nude or semi-nude people. Standing in the entry foyer, the first thing he noticed was the orgy going on in the living room.
There must have been fifteen or twenty people all having sex. It was like an erotic Conga Line as one girl was on her back sucking some guy’s dick while another guy plowed her. Two girls were in a sixty-nine position, while two guys were fucking each of the girls. A couple of guys were sitting on a couch, jerking off as they watched. Greg wondered if they were watching their wives, but he was afraid to think of that possibility as it was too close to home.
He looked at Samantha, expecting her to be shocked and disgusted but what surprised him was the look on her face. She had a half smile as she surveyed the room, but it was her eyes that frightened him the most. They were half-closed, and he could tell she was far beyond excited and he shuddered to imagine what she was thinking.
While this could be his fantasy come true, he still hadn’t come to grips with what was going to happen to his wife. The thought of screwing all these women turned him on immensely, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted his wife to be fucked in return.
She had sort of mentioned her interest in Foxy’s husband, but surely she would not want to break the bonds of marriage, or would she? He still couldn’t believe that he had caught his wife on her knees with Larry’s dick in her mouth.
As he yanked her to her feet, he was shocked to see the expression on her face and the cum running out of her mouth. She had a glazed and vacant look on her face as if every brain cell in her body had been fucked out.
Samantha had grabbed at Larry as Greg tried to pull his wife’s mouth off the neighbor’s cream covered cock. Greg was furious that his wife seemed to want the pleasure of his company rather than her own husband. He had watched in horror as Larry’s creamy rod was sliding out of his wife’s mouth. The whole time, she kept trying to force her mouth back down on his joint.
His slut wife was trying to get that big dirty cock back into her mouth, Greg had thought he had a big dick, but Larry was considerably bigger.
Greg was confused, mad, and afraid of what might be happening to his wife. She kept looking over her shoulder as they walked home as if she wanted to run back and rejoin the party.
As soon as the front door closed, Samantha started ripping off what few clothes she had left and headed to the bedroom, “You better hurry or my vibrator is going to take your place in line.”
Take my place in line? What the fuck? Greg asked himself as he headed towards the bedroom.
Walking into the bedroom, he was shocked to find his wife with her legs spread and two fingers buried deep in her wet hole. “Don’t say anything and screw up my fantasy. Just get in bed and fuck me!” she demanded.
She had her eyes tightly closed as he got in between her open legs. As soon as she felt him in position, she pulled her wet fingers out of her pussy and started sucking them. He couldn’t believe she was actually tasting her own juices and started to tell her that she was disgusting but she had told him to keep his mouth shut.
Sam had cum all over her face and lips which on the one hand infuriated him yet was strangely exciting. How could she suck off a total stranger yet she would not do the same thing to me?
Sam grabbed his dick and guided to her wet love hole, and as he sank into her, she pulled her fingers out of her mouth and exclaimed, “Foxy, your cunt tastes so sweet, and I’ll finish the job as soon as your husband finishes fucking me!”
She dug into Greg’s ass cheeks with her fingernails and yelled out, “Fuck me, Larry! Shove that big dick of yours deep in my cunt and pump me full of cum so I can make your wife suck me clean!” Then she howled, “Larry, make me your bitch!”
Greg was furious that his wife was fantasizing about fucking someone else and if that wasn’t bad enough, she was going to fuck his wife next! But as her outburst shocked him, Greg started to pound his dick into her as she begged for her neighbor to fill her up.
Samantha’s pussy was boiling hot. He had never felt her pussy like this before, and even though he was beyond pissed that his wife was dreaming about another guy drilling her lights out, it was so erotic that his wife wanted to fuck another guy.
At the party, he’d watched Foxy take her whip to a big guy and beat his ass until it was covered in red stripes. She’d taken off her long johns and put on a bustier that stopped right under her boobs and perfectly highlighted them along with a tiny black thong. But what excited him was the thigh-high leather boots with six-inch spike heels, not to mention her nipple rings with the gold chain between them.
She had made the guy lick her boots clean and then she pinned him to the floor with a spike heel in the middle of his back as she lashed him with a cat o’ nine. It wasn’t play acting either, he could see the muscles in her arm clench as she laid into her slave.
The guy had on a choke chain, and she seemed to delight in yanking it to cut off his air. Then she made him get up on his knees, and Greg could see his dick was hard as a rock as she continued to beat him.
Foxy switched to a riding crop that she kept in her boot and started to lightly tap his balls as she taunted him. “Would you like to cum?” she asked, “Do you think you deserve it?”
“Please, Mistress,” he begged. “I’ll do anything you want. My cock aches so bad.”
Pointing her crop at a naked attractive older woman she ordered, “Get your ass over here and grab this worm’s dick for me.” The woman quickly crawled over and asked, “Mistress, what do you desire of me?”
“I want you to hold his cock and stroke it but you better not let him cum without my permission if you know what’s good for you!”
“Thank you, Mistress,” the woman said as she grabbed the guy’s dick and started to rub it.
In a lightning quick move, Foxy laid the crop across the woman’s bare ass, and Greg could hear her gasp, but she bit her lip and didn’t say a word. The red bruise swelled almost instantly on the woman’s ass, and Greg flinched as he wondered what it would feel like to be whipped like that.
“Remember, do not let him cum unless you want to taste my whip again!”
“Yes, Mistress! But you may punish me if I displease you or accidentally let him spray his load!”
Samantha’s fingernails digging into his ass made it hard to concentrate on fucking his wife but easy to think about Foxy’s whip marking his ass. Greg wasn’t sure, but he was willing to let the big-haired brunette put a collar on him and beat him.
At first, he had thought he was going to get laid, but she’d taken him upstairs and let Greg watch her punish some guy. The whole time Greg was afraid that Foxy was going to switch her attention to him and while he fantasized about what it would feel like to be whipped, he was afraid yet disturbingly excited.
“Hey! Just who are you fucking?” Sam stopped and asked as she looked deep into his eyes.
“I wasn’t fucking anyone, I promise. I thought I was supposed to wait until Larry finished with you,” he answered.
“Good thinking but you were thinking about something. What was it?”
“I was wondering what it would feel like to be her slave and have her whip me. But what I want to know is what you were thinking about?”
“All those people were naked,” Sam answered. “I have never been so horny in my life!”
“I know, I could tell. Who all did you fuck last night?”
“I don’t know really, nobody told me their name and I didn’t think I really needed to know. Except of course Foxy and Larry, they were last.”
“You know that you are just fantasizing, don’t you?”
“Don’t fuck up my dream, I don’t bitch at you for jerking off to porn on your computer! Let me have my fantasy.”
“Okay, I’ll play along. How many were in your gangbang?” Craig asked.
“Maybe five or six, I started to lose track after a while. One guy would just pull out, and the next one would take his place.”
“Did they kiss you?”
“No, why would they want to kiss me? They only wanted to stick their dicks in me.” Sam got this dreamy look on her face and continued, “I’ve never been used before like that.”
“How could you just let those guys fuck you and then roll off for the next guy?”
“Once they’d pumped their load in me, I needed the next guy while I cleaned up the first guy.”
“You sucked everybody’s dick afterward?”
“Of course, that’s what the girls do, and you would not want the guys to go back to their wives with a dirty cock.”
The feeling of his wife’s pussy as she dreamed of another guy fucking her was starting to feel more and more exciting. He had just watched people fucking right in front of his eyes, and now his wife appears to have become one of them.
The look on his wife’s face as she demanded to be fucked, made him drive his dick deep into her hole and pound her unmercifully. Sam’s eyes were unfocused, and it was plain that she was someplace else. More than likely she was down the street riding their neighbor’s pole.
He tried to picture what it would look like to watch his wife being fucked by another man. He could still remember Sam with a big dick in her mouth as she swallowed as much as she could.
The shock of his wife being a complete slut initially had disgusted him, but now he was starting to admit to himself that it was actually a turn on. Could she really fuck another man? He asked himself as he tried to satisfy her insatiable lust. But that was a stupid question as she didn’t have any qualms about sucking another guy’s hard cock.
Greg fucked his wife as hard as he could and watched as his wife’s eyes slowly rolled up in her head. She was climaxing almost constantly as she kept crying out for Larry to fuck her harder. She had rarely come more than once for him, but for Larry, she was a regular come machine.
Greg couldn’t wait any longer as he felt his balls tighten up and rammed his cock into her as his dick exploded into his wife’s cunt.
“Oh God, thank you, Larry, thank you, Larry,” his wife babbled over and over as Greg pumped rope after rope of cum deep into his wife’s cheating pussy.
Exhausted, Greg rolled over and gasped for air as he lay alongside his wife.
Slowly, Sam came down from outer space and started to realize what she’d said and the possible damage to their marriage.
“Greg, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. You’ve got to believe that I don’t really want to fuck Larry,” Sam told him quietly as she stroked his leg, knowing that she had screwed up big time.
“Sam, I’m having trouble believing that you’re sorry after the show you just put on. All this time you’ve been telling me what a big dick I have, and yet it doesn’t seem like you had any problem taking Larry?”
“Greg, you know that I really didn’t fuck Larry and it was only a fantasy on my part. True he has a really big dick, and while I’m not sure that I can take it, I wouldn’t mind trying just to see.”
“So you want to let him jam that big cock in your hole, while I have to take his wife’s abuse. That doesn’t seem fair to me?”
“What do you mean, abuse Greg?”
“Didn’t you realize that she’s a Dominatrix and gets off beating people?”
“No, I got stuck on those pierced nipples and kept wondering what they would feel like in my mouth. Foxy’s nipple rings are solid gold; can you imagine what they must cost? And that pair of long johns she had on without any underwear at all, not even panties. You could easily see her camel toe, not that I really noticed.”
“Well while you were on your knees with your mouth stuffed full of cock, I was watching her whip some guy until his ass was beet red.”
“But Greg, she’s only a woman, and he couldn’t stop her?”
“He was a big guy, and I think a cop, but he did everything she asked without hesitation. I think he was afraid of what would happen if he disobeyed.”
“Did she let you fuck her?” Samantha asked.
“No, she only whipped me.”
“She beat you also? Didn’t that hurt?”
“I’ve never had anything burn like my ass did when she popped me with her riding crop.”
“Why didn’t you stop her?”
“I guess it was like you with Larry’s cock in your mouth. It started to feel really good, and I didn’t mind her punishing me.”
“So you liked it?”
“The first few lashes hurt really bad but the pain kind of morphs into something completely different. Plus, I was getting jerked off by some attractive MILF, who was getting whipped also.”
“She jerked you off?”
“Yes, until Foxy felt sorry for me and told the woman to suck me off?”
“Wait, you got sucked off, and you have the nerve to complain about me taking Larry down my throat?”
“But that was different!”
“I was starting to feel sorry for you up until the time some MILF started sucking your dick!” Sam retorted. “Did you like it? Did she spit or swallow, isn’t that what all guys want to know?”
“If she would have spit, I’d hate to have seen what Foxy would have done to her. She got into trouble for swallowing too much cum as it was.”
“She swallowed too much? Isn’t that the whole idea?”
“Kind of but apparently if you’re with another woman, you are required to share, and she was greedy, which pissed Foxy off to no end.”
“What was she supposed to do, kiss Foxy?”
“Exactly and I watched as the girl’s kissed, then Foxy’s face got dark, it was scary as she fished around in the woman’s mouth with her tongue and was coming up empty. Then Foxy told her to get on her knees, and while she was beating the woman’s ass, I slipped out of the room before it was my turn to get disciplined again. So let that be a lesson to you, the next time you suck Larry off, you better not swallow too much of his jizz before sharing it with his wife. She apparently loves cum kisses.”
“Don’t worry Greg, I’ll make sure and give Foxy at least half of his spunk,” Sam said as she touched the dried cum on her face and lips. Greg could see the trembling of her body as she touched the dried sperm of her new lover.
“Was it that good, sucking Larry off?” Greg asked as he watched his wife’s face. “You never suck me off.”
He could see the dirty little smirk cross her face and she licked her lips while reliving what she’d just done. Turning to him, Samantha kissed him, and he could taste Larry’s cum on her lips and smell it on her breath. “Greg, I still love you,” she said, and he could feel the “But” coming.
Greg saved her the trouble by asking, “But?”
His wife giggled and replied, “Is it that obvious?”
“Well, let’s see somewhere between getting hit by a bus or a 2×4, I would think!” Greg replied, but then he burst out laughing. “I love you too!”
“It was fun, wasn’t it?” Sam replied as she flipped his limp dick back and forth.
“Yeah, I know, Larry would still be hard wouldn’t he?”
“You know that I’m going to have to buy a completely new wardrobe?” Sam said as she pictured herself in a bustier with thigh-high leather boots like Foxy. She could picture how it would feel to have a tiny black thong on with just the string between her ass cheeks. “Do you think Foxy would help me pick out new clothes to seduce her husband in?”
“Why don’t you just wear your birthday suit? I’m sure he’d like that!”
Getting out of bed, she pirouetted in front of the mirror, “Do you think my rear is too big?”
“I don’t think he’s interested in your ass,” Greg said as exhaustion slowly took over.
“I would certainly hope so since you haven’t butt-fucked me in ages,” Sam answered with a giggle as she thrust her hip out and tried to examine her behind. She remembered Larry’s fingers in her hair as he pumped her mouth full of his cum a couple of hours ago. Sam closed her eyes and tried to imagine those fingers digging into her hips as he drove his big cock deep into her back door.
“Greg, do you think Larry would like to ass fuck me?” Sam asked.
“Un huh,” Greg mumbled almost sound asleep.
* * * End of Excerpt * * *
That’s just a taste of “Crashing a Swinger’s Pajama Party,” and you’ll have to wait a few weeks to see how the story comes out. Will Larry write his first non-HEA story, will Greg learn to love the sound of the whip? Or will Foxy sell Greg’s wife to a German Goo Girls movie producer? Click here for updates on the story or LarryArcher.blog for more ramblings from my perverted mind.
I promise Lisabet, my next blog post will be shorter!