As COVID surges around us, partying with someone else’s wife doesn’t sound as appetizing when you have to wear a mask to do the dirty deed. While being vaxxed and boosted, we’re still paranoid about getting up close and personal with others. I’ve even started to think about the good ole days and the fun we used to have.
Once, I remember when a pizza delivery guy showed up in the middle of a small party as we were lying naked in a pile. I looked up from the family room floor to see some dude standing there with a pizza box in his hand. Apparently, one of the girls got hungry and called in for pizza delivery.
The delivery guy got a blowjob as a tip, which probably made his night. While he was getting serviced, I looked out through our glass storm doors to see his car parked in the middle of the street with the door open and the engine running. We all laughed about the fact that his car was sitting in the street for almost an hour running.
But it pissed off my wife, as the delivery came from our favorite pizza place, and she refused to ever order from them again. She still grumbles to this day if someone mentions the woman’s name who ordered the pizza.
We’ve always made it a habit not to socialize with our neighbors as they have a habit of dropping in at the wrong time. One of my stories, Crashing the Swinger’s Pajama Party, was based upon an actual event where our neighbors from three houses down showed up at our New Year’s Eve Pajama Party. Of course they picked the time after midnight when the party was in full swing! That was a strained conversation for a few minutes before they left. The funny thing was the wife wanted to stay, but hubby forced her to leave. Of course, my story had a completely different and better ending for our neighbors.
We lived at the bottom of a U-shaped street with a forest behind our house. One day, Foxy is out floating on a blowup raft in the pool when she looks up to see our neighbor on the roof of his house looking at her. Being a closet nudist, her bikini was safely tucked away in a dresser drawer. With a shriek, she rolled off into the pool for protection. I found it interesting that our neighbor never mentioned that.
She liked to mow the backyard in her bikini to get some sun, and every time she did that, our other neighbor would come out to do landscaping work on his bushes between our houses. But, of course, that would only last until his wife saw him and came out to drag him back indoors.
Once, I remember we went to a swinger’s convention with two other couples. We went in one of the couple’s RV, which had large windows. Foxy and one of the women were flashing truckers as we drove down the Interstate. With their CB radios, the truckers up ahead were waiting for us as we passed them.
Also waiting was a highway patrol officer who pulled us over. The girls cleaned up their act, and as he didn’t see anything, he just told them to keep it in their pants. He was pretty good about the whole thing and said he didn’t want the girls to cause an accident. I wondered which girls he was talking about? The funny thing was that every passing truck blew its horn at us while the cop had us pulled over.
The funniest one happened to a woman we knew. She was in bed with her girlfriend, who has a pierced labia with a ring in it. Our friend was playing around and stuck her tongue through the ring. The ring must have cut off the circulation or something because the woman’s tongue swelled up until she couldn’t extract her tongue from the ring in the other woman’s pussy lips.
They were locked together but managed to reach a cell phone and called 9-1-1 for help. When the fire department showed up, the girls were unable to get up and open the door. Firefighters had to bust the front door down to rescue them. I’m sure everyone helped cut the ring apart and disconnect the two naked and embarrassed women.
I would have loved to read the call log on their report and keep waiting to see that story on the tv series 9-1-1.
Crashing the Swinger’s Pajama Party is now available in print as well as electronic format! Click this link to buy.
I’m Larry Archer, and I write erotic stories for the huddled and yearning masses. Foxy and I are swingers in real life. I write erotic stories based on the things we do and see. While the Lifestyle is not for everyone, it’s been fun for us. My smut is explicit and hardcore but with a somewhat plot. My porn novels are generally positive and fun as this reflects how enjoyable swinging has been for us. If you’re interested in checking out my stories, I publish them at all the popular outlets.
I used to be a cab driver back in the day and there were a few times I’d show up to pick up a fare and it was a “sex party” and I’d get blown and/or invited to stay. Once, while my girlfriend and I were on our way to her parents’ home in Ohio, she decided to blow me as I drove which had truckers honking their horns and slowing their roll to watch her do her thing. No cops but I thought that was hilarious.
An impromptu “swinging party” happened at a couple’s home (and who my wife and I had had sex with before) and once things got going hot and heavy, their children came downstairs to find out what all the noise was. That was awkward for our hosts but the “funnier” part was that the oldest boy was refusing to return to his room and was sporting quite the boner!
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We used to have a Toyota Supra and my wife loved to flash guys in trucks and vans. She was always the bravest when there was no way they could get in the car with us. LOL
Makes sense but I get the sense that if they could get in the Toyota, she might not have minded all that much…
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So did the woman order a “big sausage pizza’?
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To be honest, I don’t remember what she ordered only that my wife was furious she pulled that trick. But I assume it was an extra-large sausage!
My wife is a contradiction in terms, sometimes she’s shy and other times she was off her meds. Once at a large swingers party, maybe 200 couples, I caught her on the dance floor (the actual floor) on top of a beautiful woman from Kansas City and both were going at it. Then there was the time the convention had rented out the complete hotel with like a holidome in the middle. I caught her buck naked in the gym with another naked woman from Ohio. There were maybe 30 people standing around watching this chick go down on my wife. Now if I would have suggested that she do something like that, she would have been pissed off. I guess the key here is that she’s more likely to act out if it is with another woman or there is a layer of security around her.