I’m convinced that loons have taken over the world! I was going to title this post “Only in Vegas,” but it seems that it should have been “Only in the World!” or “News of the Weird.”

It’s a quiet Saturday morning, and I’m up at dawn as usual. Growing up on a farm and having to milk cows as the sun comes up curses you with the inability to sleep late. So our standing rule is to get home before the birds start singing or roughly 4 AM.

Sitting in front of my computer with a hot cup of coffee and trying to wake up. Checking the news, I find that everyone has been morphed into a loon of one type or another.

Landlord makes the renter sign contract to have sex with him. Only in Vegas could you have a landlord enter into a written rental agreement that the woman has to have sex with him. I’m guessing that he didn’t realize this is not Pahrump, Nevada, and prostitution is still illegal here.

Salman Rushdie was stabbed and in serious condition. A 24-year-old man attacked the infamous author of The Satanic Verses as he prepared to speak at the Chautauqua Institution. As a middle-of-the-road RINO, I struggled to understand why people do some of the bizarre things they do. Why don’t they protest against 50 Shades, as it’s a lot more disturbing? My Frenchie can write better stories than that.

A Louisiana school librarian sued two men for defamation after they accused her of advocating to keep “pornographic” materials in the parish library’s kids’ section. Two dudes labeled her a pedophile who wanted to teach kids about anal sex. This is just another in the crackdown on LGBTQ material in libraries. Move along, nothing to see here!

Now we find that Southern Baptists are under fire for ignoring sexual abuse and the survivors for more than 20 years. It was bad enough that we had pervert priests and nuns with rulers to torture children everywhere. My wife is/was Catholic and never had a problem as she was assigned female at birth. Growing up in deep East Texas and Episcopalian, I was only peripherally damaged by tent revivals that seemed to spring up on every empty lot when I was a kid.

Now, in addition to COVID, we have Monkeypox to deal with. Polio has just reared its ugly head. A couple of weeks ago, the last polio survivor in an iron lung died. What did we do to deserve this? I can understand why the Jews hated locus so much. Make sure your kids are correctly vaccinated for Polio.

It was just announced yesterday that Monkeypox is in the Las Vegas school system. Straight people I know say, “I’m not gay. It doesn’t affect me.” I’m waiting for the Health Department to require that you enclose yourself in garbage bags covered in Lysol before leaving the house.

And Thursday night, it rained in Las Vegas. Not Vegas rain but real rain. People here have no idea what rain actually means. Thunder and lightning are rare in the Valley, but Thursday, we had a thunderstorm that even Texans would be proud of. Hookem Horns!

Many homeless people live in the drainage system; two people have been found so far that couldn’t get out in time to escape the storm. While Lake Mead will go up temporarily a couple of inches, the drought continues. At least now you have a good excuse not to mow the front yard.

I’m Larry Archer, a simple writer of smut stories in both print and electronic format. Foxy and I are swingers in real life, and I write about the things we do and see. While the Lifestyle is not for everyone, it’s been fun for us. My smut is explicit and hardcore but with a somewhat plot. My porn stories are generally positive and fun as this reflects how enjoyable swinging has been to us. If you’re interested in checking out my stories, I publish at all the typical outlets.

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