Do Pineapples Mean You are a Swinger?

It’s freezing in Las Vegas, which is almost heresy. Alexa is telling me that tomorrow will be thirty-one degrees in Sin City. To top it off, the humidity is around fifty percent, which makes it feel even colder. We moved from the mid-west to get away from the cold.

I’ve struggled to finish my story, Company Benefits but can’t corral my wandering mind. Initially, I was trying to finish my two on-tap stories so I could at least publish one. Taking stock of things, I’ve come to realize that I am my own worst enemy.

Today, I still have my two original stories, but I’ve started three more. This is how I’ve ended up with over a hundred stories in various stages of completion.

Other authors have writer’s block, but I have writer’s diarrhea!

I can’t seem to help myself? Maybe I could hire a ghostwriter?

Then a couple of days ago, a fellow author friend of mine asked if I knew that pineapples were the secret symbol of swingers? Apparently, if you place an upside-down pineapple on your front porch, you are looking to swap your wife for some other guy’s wife. If you put a pineapple on your cabin door, you’re letting the world know you are a swinger. Plus, if it’s upside down, you are actively looking to do the dirty with someone else.

Over the years, there have been multiple ways to advertise or tell the world that you throw your house keys in a bowl. If your wife wears a chain around her ankle or a toe ring it is a sure sign of a swinger. There have been stories about symbols to put on your car’s bumper as well.

While I’m sure that “straights” are convinced swingers are all at some orgy getting their collective brains screwed out, it’s not always that great. While we get a fair amount of strange stuff, it’s not all wham bam thank you, ma’am!

Let’s think this through. You and your spouse decide to have an open marriage and play hide the weenie with others. Now, how do you meet other perverts you think you’d like to couple with?

For guys, the thought of nonstop pussy is enough to make your mind explode. Then it strikes you that while you’re off consorting with someone else’s wife, your loving spouse is going to be getting her lights drilled out. That’s often a high hill to climb for new couples.

There’s an old saying among swingers, “The husband gets a couple into swinging, but the wife is the one who keeps them in the Lifestyle.”

From what we’ve seen, that is often the case. Being a swinger is like living in a huge intimate group. You become closer than normal friends because you are sleeping together. Not actually sleeping, but you know what I mean. Intimacy is a common bond among swingers.

This brings me to pineapples. I struggle to believe that swingers will put an upside-down pineapple on their front porch and wait for the first couple to ring their bell and hook up. Just because you’ll trade wives with some other dude for an hour of sweating up the sheets, would your better half do the nasty with anyone who shows up at your front door? You can last an hour, can’t you?

Certainly, swingers will go to a house party and get together with someone they’ve only known for a short time, but generally, things are slightly different. For one, swingers are like straights and tend to run in the same circles, unlike someone who shows up at your door with his dick in his hand.

At a house party, the need for couples to pair up with another couple is not usually required. Just because you want to bang some other guy’s wife doesn’t automatically mean that your wife is going to jump in the rack with him. “No” works fine with swingers, and you are not required to party with anyone who asks.

While I can’t swear that people don’t put a pineapple on their front porch or door for anonymous sex, it seems pretty preposterous to me. Maybe, we run with a different group of swingers?

I’m Larry Archer, and I write erotic stories with a somewhat believable plot that includes a lot of explicit sex stuff.

About LarryArcher

Larry Archer's the name, smut's my game. I am a writer of erotic literature that's generally always HEA (Happily Ever After), which typically involves no regrets sex. I write in a humorous style with a plot and suitable for reading with one hand. My stories are full of sexual situations that are often taken straight from our swinger lifestyle in Las Vegas. If you want to enjoy erotica, where every page is dripping with action, give me a try.
This entry was posted in About, adult, am writing, banned, Blogger, Erotic Stories, erotica, erotica publishers, Erotika, First Time, foxy and larry, Funny, gangbang, Hotwife, humorous, kinky literature, Larry Archer, Las Vegas, lesbian, masturbation, News, NSFW, sexy girls, Swinging, voyeurism, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Do Pineapples Mean You are a Swinger?

  1. Hi, Larry,

    You obviously need some discipline… have you asked Foxy to get out her flogger?

    Re pineapples – I think your group might be more closely knit than some other people in the Lifestyle. My husband and I went to a couple of house parties back in the day; I didn’t really get the feeling that most of these people knew each other already. But what do I know?

    Liked by 1 person

    • LarryArcher says:

      I agree with you but my point and possibly not being made too succinctly was that when you make a random hook up with someone that you’ve met at a party. There is some interaction to help you decide if you want to party with this person.

      But to simply ring someone’s doorbell and ask where the bedroom is, seems a little out there.

      Like

  2. Mark K says:

    I recall hearing once that wind chimes were also a “signal” to other swingers.
    of course this was years after we’d had one hanging at our house and no one ever knocked on our door. well at least not for that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LarryArcher says:

      I remember years ago that putting a certain symbol in your rear window meant that the occupants were swingers and for months I drove around trying to find a marked vehicle without success. But once you’re in the Lifestyle, there is no problem finding someone to hook up with. The same thing used to happen when I broke up with a girlfriend, you couldn’t meet anyone. Then when you get a girlfriend, the girls just seem to come out of the woodwork.

      Like

  3. kdaddy23 says:

    I heard of the pineapple thing and thought, “Hmm. Are pineapples that available everywhere?” I’ve heard of couples wearing certain types of jewelry to advertise their availability or dressing a certain way. One couple who hit on me and my girlfriend while we were in Green Bay gave themselves away because they were paying “too much” attention to us. When they offered to host us in their room for drinks, that told me they were swingers… but my girlfriend missed it. We didn’t go but when I told her why that couple was so nice she said, “Really? Maybe we should go find them!”

    But, yeah, if the more vanilla people think that being a swinger means non-stop orgies all of the time, they might be disappointed. I’ve seen people show up at a party and neither of them gets laid. The lifestyle can be… interesting. But how do you know if that couple you invited over for dinner would be interested in a swap?

    I dunno… and I never made a habit of keeping pineapples around unless they were in a can. Hell, get a few drinks in some couples and there’s no telling what they might want to do and pineapples notwithstanding.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LarryArcher says:

      It is unfortunate that reality cannot be as good as our fantasies seem to be. The sobering fact that you quickly learn is some dude wants to fuck your wife but has conveniently forgotten to bring his wife for you. We’ve never had to rely on toe rings or pineapples to meet other like-minded couples. Swingers or wannabe swingers all seem to give off a vibe that you can detect. It’s sort of like my gay friend who tells me that he has Gaydar and can pick them out from across the room.

      Like

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Yeah, the rule has always been that to get pussy, you gotta being some with you and while threesomes are preferred, um, your woman can stay but you don’t have to be here. And, yeah, once you’ve been exposed to the lifestyle, you don’t need pineapples to know who’d be down to trade wives and fuck them – and like gaydar.

        My pet peeve are those guys who use their woman as bait and knowing she wouldn’t be interested in sharing sex this way…

        Liked by 1 person

  4. LarryArcher says:

    I agree when some guy pimps out his wife to get yours is a cheap shot. That pretty much guarantees that Wifey will kick him to the curb when he asks.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s