“Fantasy versus reality.” – I was just reading a blog post from a fellow author of erotica, Lisabet Sarai, that sparked a topic for my blog.
This is always an interesting topic. I believe a lot of readers feel a need to experience situations, which they’ve never experienced.
Before getting married, Monday morning at work was often spent answering questions about what we single guys did during the weekend. Particularly did we get laid?
Married guys often seemed to be focused on our sex life. I guess they felt that they were missing out on a lot. I think that’s one of the reasons swinging seems to appeal to a lot of couples.
Often, a couple gets married early and never gets to experience things like Spring Break or a gang bang. After 7-10 years, you suddenly find that sex with your partner is becoming dull and repetitious. Then you start to see how greener the grass is on the other side of the fence.
It’s not that you don’t love your partner, but wouldn’t you like to say, “Yes, I’ll have two and with sprinkles!” This is especially a bad time if you’re approaching forty and spend a lot of time looking at ads for Corvettes.
For women, it’s just as bad; maybe even worse as society puts a lot of emphasis on appearance. Women’s sexual peak typically happens ten years or so after a man’s and on top of being bored, you’re constantly horny.
Ashley Madison is full of women who want to have an affair. This is Tinder on steroids for the woman who sees life passing them by or notices how the guys hang around the sexy young hottie, like bees to honey.
Swingers get to have their cake and eat it too. For “straights,” as we call them, the typical portrayal is to throw your house keys in a bowl and pick out someone else’s for an evening of debachary.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s not how it works at all in most cases. You go to what is typically called a House Party to meet other people. For those in the Lifestyle, the phrase House Party has a meaning that straights never pick up on.
House Parties give the wives a chance to sex up and wear something that they could never wear out normally. A big percentage of women are exhibitionists and the show at a House Party is always worth the price of admision.
Even if they call you a slut, it is in a good way.
For swingers, a house party is like any other party at someone’s house, except that people will disappear into a back room for awhile. If you find someone attractive, then you can ask them to “party,” another key word, which means that you want to bump uglies.
A house party enables someone to avoid having to visit Motel 6 with Tom Bodet, and worry about coming home with lipstick on your collar. Everything is honest and above board. You even get to tell your spouse about what you did and find out who they did.
With fifty-percent of marriages ending in divorce, getting a little strange stuff does wonders to keep the lid on things and emprove your sex life at home. Strange as it may seem, going to a party and getting your brains fucked out seems to cause the same reaction when you get home.
Certainly, this sport is not for everyone and don’t try this at home if both parties don’t agree. Broaching the subject is tricky as you don’t want your partner to get the wrong idea that you’re not happy with her/him. Sometimes after/during sex, you can ask, “Have you ever thought about being with another guy/girl?”
I remember before we got into the scene, I saw an ad for a club opening up that catered to swingers. I asked my wife and she said that she’d be interested in going to see what it was all about. But I talked about and never did anything about it. I don’t know why as I was certainly interested but afraid to take the first step.
Then one night, my wife was at a bar with friends from work. She called and told me that she had met a couple and was bringing them home. Apparently she was tired of me procrastinating.
Anyway, long story short, Wifey shows up with an attractive couple, who were in the Lifestyle. They were a lot of fun and we had an interesting evening with them. I remember looking out the patio doors to see his wife buck naked going down our pool slide. That’s when I realized that we were different from other people.
Swinging will not fix a bad marriage and will likely end one, but if you are a stable couple and need a little excitement, it might be fun. There are all variations from a soft swap with no sex, to making out (remember high school), and going all the way.
The nice thing is that you can ease into it and see if it’s something you might like. You always have the right to say no and will quickly realize that women have the upper hand at parties. Plus, you’ll get a chance to wear that see through top that you bought for Halloween and were too embarrassed to wear it.
To experience things they’ve never experienced… very well said! Not only do many not experience those things, I’ve found a lot of them want to (and probably need to) but, jeez, how do you talk to your partner about it and more so when you just automatically assume that if you ask, the answer is going to be not only no but hell no?
Just being open is a rush; being open and swinging (or otherwise playing with others) is eye-opening and in ways that one’s imagination could never really conceive of. Having fantasies is okay but it can be much more fun to turn them into reality.
It’s really hard to take the risk and ask — but I think if you can get up the courage, you may be surprised to discover your partner has complementary fantasies.
And many find that they do share similar fantasies!
Even if a couple doesn’t want to actually experience swinging (or any other sort of sexual activity), they can still enjoy the fantasies.
We erotica authors can help!
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True, if you’re comfortable enough to share fantasizes with your lover, it can make the experience all that more exciting. If you’re not at a party where you’re expected to leave your clothes at the front door, it is perfectly fine to mingle and observe others as long as you don’t make a perv of yourself. One of the reasons why unicorns are always welcome, single guys aren’t as most don’t seem to be able to follow the rules of etiquette. There will be single guys but they have to be vetted and that doesn’t happen overnight.
Single guys have a horrible reputation in the lifestyle, don’t they?
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It’s hard for a single guy to break into swinging. They never seem to understand the whole concept and for the life of me, when you’re offered free pussy and you screw it up! I know a handful of guys who’ve wormed their way or been invited in by a couple but that’s it.