As a couple in the Lifestyle and a writer of erotic literature, I’m often asked about how we can reconcile women’s rights and the apparent objectification of women’s sexuality for those in swinging.
It may be hard for “straights” to understand but women are proud of themselves and don’t consider expressing their sexuality as a negative thing. As a guy, I’m sure that I don’t appreciate this concept as a woman does but I’ve talked to my wife about this and she also agrees.
Browsing the news, I ran across an article about Emily Ratajkowski’s Halloween bikini costume, which was modeled after the famous bikini worn by Raquel Welch in the 1966 film “One Million Years B.C.”
In the article, Emily Ratajkowski made a statement about feminism and women’s rights that demonstrated how they can coexist.
“Feminism is about is a woman’s right to choose how they represent themselves, what they do with their bodies, what their life is going to be like, and I think that’s pretty much something that everyone agrees with if you are a feminist. I’ve hit a lot of roadblocks within feminist communities, like what happened in a second wave where people asked, ‘Do we accept pornography? Can a woman be a prostitute and a feminist?’ My answer is: Absolutely, as long as it’s her choice!” she said.
She added: “If she’s feeling herself in a lacy thong, good for her. As a young woman, I had so many people telling me what to do with my body, making me feel embarrassed, and it was really unfortunate that some of those people were women who were trying to protect me but were at the same time actually limiting me and making me feel ashamed of my body… It’s very important to me whether you choose to cover yourself completely or be naked all the time, that it’s your choice. If you are a woman, if you are making a decision, I respect that.”
A lot of women in swinging are exhibitionists and love to show off. In the straight world, guys may try to take advantage of a woman in a bar just because she looks like a “slut.” At a swinger’s party (house party), a woman can dress as sexy as she’d like and still not have to worry about someone getting the wrong idea.
An interesting point is that men quickly learn that they don’t have the control at a house party. It is the women who control the situation and call the shots. This is one of the reasons that single men are generally not welcome at a swing party.
Certainly, there are single guys at parties but they need to prove themselves and that takes time. Also, guys tend to misread the situation and will think that just because some woman sleeps with you that she’s interested in going out on a date. Swinging is not cheating and men, married or not can quickly be black-balled from parties. What they don’t understand is that women talk and if you ask a woman to meet you alone for a date, they will tell the other girls and you’ll suddenly find yourself out on the doorstep.
Check out the full article about Emily by clicking here.
Most people don’t know that swinging is a very different animal with some very different rules that don’t exactly coincide with society’s notions of objectification and feminism. Women who,swing do realize that they’re sex objects… but don’t have to act like one just because some horny asshole wants to poke her and she’s not feeling it.
Okay, so I’m an independent woman, self-supporting, with a PhD and two masters degrees. I don’t let anyone give me any crap. Nevertheless, I love the high that comes from knowing that I’m turning other people on. Maybe I’m naive, but I’ve never felt endangered or embarrassed by the notion that people (men or women) saw me as a “sex object”. In fact most of my serious relationships have been with guys who really enjoyed my body as well as my mind.
I love the costume, too… wish I looked that good ;^)