It’s disturbing to turn on the TV or CNN to discover yet another guy in power who abused his position and took advantage of vulnerable women.

As a swinger and author of erotic stories, this topic hits home with me. Often people rail against us for taking advantage of women, but the reality is far from that. In swinging, women possess the power far more than men and typically call the shots.

Men in the Lifestyle are very conscious of the relationship between men and women, and I’d venture to say that an abuser would quickly get ostracized from any group he belonged to.

If you’re not in the Lifestyle, it might surprise you to learn that women talk about men in the group and a guy will quickly find that he is persona-non-grata after a married woman gets an invitation for a date away from the party scene.

Swingers don’t cheat, which may be hard to believe for straights, but we do have a code of conduct.

The issues typically arise with a new couple, where the guy feels that he’s locked in a candy store. While it’s okay to sample the merchandise, it is not okay to ask a woman for a date.

As a married guy, my wife is an ardent feminist who would gladly burn her bra, assuming she owned one. She considers a bra as the form of oppression from The Man. She never understands why she can’t go topless when a man with bigger boobs can!

As an author of stroke porn, my stories always treat the woman as an equal or better. I use the things we’ve experienced in the Lifestyle as a foundation for many of the stories I’ve written.

My stories are typically always HEA or Happily Ever After and never include unresolved conflict or negative outcomes. For Wifey and myself, swinging has always been a lot of fun, and I like to present that in my story themes.

Even my BDSM stories typically involving Foxy in her thigh high leather boots and whip are always consensual and never end badly. While you may not enjoy the taste of the whip, it is surprising how many do.

I guess the moral of the story here is to treat your spouse as an equal and never strike or harm your loved one. If you are not happy, then get a divorce. Think of it this way, wouldn’t it be a lot better to move out than have the police lock your ass up for battery?

No one wins when you beat another person. All you’re proving is that you’re bigger than they are. This same philosophy holds for supervisors who use their authority to coerce a man or women under them to submit to sexual abuse, which is unwanted.