“The Perfect Wife” Available for Pre-Order

The Perfect Wife

The Perfect Wife will be on her knees and available to service you by Friday, 10/21/2022. You will even have the opportunity to buy a paperback copy with which to swat her naughty behind! Of course, Foxy will also be there to cane her cute MILF backside.

All jokes aside, The Perfect Wife is at Amazon begging for approval, and SmashWords, Apple, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, and Scribd have welcomed her with open arms. It’s Tuesday, and hopefully, soon, Amazon will finish their review to list the book. The print paperback version is now available on Amazon for preorder.

I guess it’s a complication from COVID but getting Amazon to review a story is taking longer. They check your submission for content and formatting before allowing it to be published. With SmashWords, your book is available within minutes of pressing the Submit button.

Available in paperback format from the get-go also. The Perfect Wife is my thirty-seventh book published and the first one that will have a printed copy available during the initial release. It’s hard to believe, but I started this masturbatory business ten years ago in an effort not to go blind, as my mother always warned me would happen. I initially told her that I’d only do it until I needed glasses but having to shave my palms is getting to be too time-consuming.

At 70,000+ words, the story is one of my longer stories and ended up as a 206-page novel for those who like to hold something while reading.

The Perfect Wife is a MILF – swinger crossover that’s not half bad if I say so myself. Tony and Wanda buy a condo at The Towers, an exclusive compound near Circus Circus, a couple of blocks from the Las Vegas Strip. Tony is a troubleshooter for a multinational enterprise and regularly travels to the ends of the earth to pull his bosses feet out of the fire.

Wanda is a shy, introverted housewife (aka the MILF) who has always hidden behind Tony’s skirts. They arrive in Sin City with just their suitcases, only to find that the moving van has broken down somewhere in Arizona or New Mexico.

As they get ready for bed, a phone call sends Tony to the airport overnight to Heathrow. The new accounting software for the London office has gone Tango Uniform, and everyone is panicking.

At the end of this post is an x-rated excerpt of the initial story setup to whet your appetite. Hopefully, you get paid on Friday and can whip it out (your credit card, that is) and obtain some relief from your daily chores.

The Perfect Wife is available in both electronic and paperback formats. The electronic versions of the story will run on most cell phones, tablets, iPads, laptops, and desktop PCs.

I’m just over 20,000 words on the start of my next MILF coming of age story. After that, I think I’m going to switch back to a plain old F&S book. With my style of writing, I just come up with an idea and run with it. I’m sure I should plan but this is so much fun, not knowing how a story will end.

Below are the buy links and if you don’t have a preference, consider Kinky Literature for all your smut needs. Kinky Literature is the one-stop source for all types of erotic literature from the best authors, including yours truly. The nice thing about Kinky Literature is that they charge the same price as the other guys and don’t spray you with Lysol when you leave. All of Larry Archer’s high-brow smut is available at Kinky Literature, and feel free to wear your best raincoat with the pockets cut out.

Buy Links for The Perfect Wife:

Kinky Literature: https://www.kinkyliterature.com/book/925-the-perfect-wife/

Amazon Electronic: <To Be Updated>

Amazon Paperback (print): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BJN2YB81

SmashWords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1170494

Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/x/id6443885489

Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/2940165950469

Gardners Extended Retail: https://www.gardners.com/Search/KeywordAnonymous/eBook?Keyword=9781005565688

Kobo Adult: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/Search?Query=9781005565688

Scribd: https://www.scribd.com/search?query=9781005565688&language=0

I’m Larry Archer, a simple writer of smut stories in both print and electronic format. Foxy and I are swingers in real life, and I write about the things we do and see. While the Lifestyle is not for everyone, it’s been fun for us. My smut is explicit and hardcore but with a somewhat plot. My porn stories are generally positive and fun as this reflects how enjoyable swinging has been to us. If you’re interested in checking out my stories, I publish at all the typical outlets.

Kinky Literature

Amazon Kindle


Apple iBooks


Barnes and Noble


X-Rated Excerpt From The Perfect Wife

Wanda looked in the kitchen cabinet, and as she already knew, the cupboard was bare. But it was no laughing matter. They had barely gotten moved in when Tony had to leave for London unexpectedly. As a troubleshooter, he often traveled to one of his company’s worldwide offices on short notice. Now, Wanda was stuck in a strange town without a car and hungry to boot.

They had moved into The Towers yesterday in a comedy of errors. Their moving truck broke down in Arizona, and virtually everything beyond what was in their suitcases was somewhere in Arizona for God knows how long. Wanda and her husband Tony had purchased the condominium in the exclusive complex right off the famous Strip in Las Vegas. Tony had decided to buy this place, a little city inside the world’s entertainment capital.

“You’ll never have to leave the property,” Tony told her. “Everything we could ever need is here at The Towers. Restaurants, bars, gym, tennis courts, and security like Fort Knox, so I don’t have to worry about you when I’m out of town.”

She thought to herself that we now have everything except food in the kitchen.

Her only choice was to go to the complex’s restaurant and get something to eat. I wish Tony were here, She thought as she didn’t relish the idea of eating alone. Wanda was shy and uncomfortable in public situations. She relied on Tony’s outgoing personality to help her through challenging situations with strangers. But the bottom line was that she was starving to death!

Digging in her suitcase, Wanda found a blouse and skirt to wear. She had a clean pair of underwear, but her bra was covered in oil from a bottle of lotion that had cracked in the suitcase. Standing in front of the mirror, dressed in just her panties, Wanda appraised her breasts. She wished her boobs were bigger, but at least they were perky and didn’t sag.

She was tall with a slender body and long legs. But short brown hair and brown eyes didn’t add much, yet Wanda never knew what to do with herself. She often wondered what Tony saw in her as he was a hunk, and girls were always after him. I’m just a Plain Jane or Plain Wanda, She thought as she buttoned her blouse over her braless jugs.

Hopefully, no one will notice I’m not wearing a bra, she thought as she tried to figure out how high to button the blouse. Tony always wanted her to dress in a more sexually provocative manner, but she was too timid. Wanda finally decided to leave the top two unbuttoned. It showed a little cleavage but not too much. Stepping into the A-line skirt, she zipped it up and stepped in front of the mirror. I forgot how short this skirt is, she told herself, remembering how much Tony loved it. He told her what great legs she had and always encouraged her to show off more.

Slipping into some modest heels, she walked to the elevator. After taking a deep breath, pressed the button for the ground floor. Following the signs, she walked to the restaurant and entered. Two women were already waiting, a tall brunette and a big redhead. From the back, Wanda could see that they were knockouts. Both girls were in ultra-short mini dresses that barely covered their rear ends. The brunette had long slender, well-toned legs, with a big head of curly brunette hair. The redhead was stockier with more of a body builder’s statue.

Wanda timidly stood behind the two girls and waited to be seated. The hostess came rushing up from somewhere and addressed the two women, “Hey, Foxy and Chrissy. Sorry to make you wait.” Then seeing Wanda standing behind them, “Three for lunch?”

“No, two,” Foxy replied and then looked at Wanda. “Wait, are you alone?”

“Yes,” Wanda timidly replied.

Foxy said, “Three for lunch.” Then stepping aside, she motioned for Wanda to follow the hostess. The three of them followed the hostess, which was a prolonged affair. Foxy stopped and talked to a number of the other guests. It seemed like she knew everyone, and Wanda wished she could be that confident in public. She met a bunch of people and immediately forgot their names as the next group was introduced.

Sitting at a four-top with a fabulous view of the Strip, Wanda saw that the front view was even more impressive. Foxy was wearing a wrap minidress that was open below her breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra either, as the top of the dress gaped open, and her nipples were prominently poking through the thin top. And her girlfriend, Wanda, didn’t know if she should be afraid or not. The redhead looked like she’d just stepped out of a cage fight on Monday Night Raw. She had large boobs, also unfettered, that threatened to spill out of her top. But it was her body that caused a shudder to move through Wanda. Chrissy was about the same height as the brunette but with a solid frame that initially made Wanda think of a bodyguard. Chrissy wasn’t fat but a big solid muscular girl.

Foxy, the curly-headed brunette, looked at Wanda, asking, “I thought I knew most of the people in our tower. Do you live here?”

“We just moved in yesterday. Then my husband got sent to London in the middle of the night,” Wanda explained. “We flew in from St. Louis, and our moving truck is broken down somewhere in Arizona or New Mexico. I forgot where and I’m stuck here with virtually nothing to wear and no food in the kitchen to eat.”

“Your husband is in London?” Chrissy asked. “I can’t believe he left a gorgeous woman like you home alone.” With a warm smile, the big redhead reached over and stroked Wanda’s arm with her fingertips. Her touch made Wanda react viscerally, and she tried to command her body to relax. All alone in a strange city, these emotions threatened to overwhelm her with feelings she didn’t understand.

“Are you Foxy’s bodyguard?” Wanda asked as she warmed to the big redhead, who seemed very easygoing. She could tell that the tall big-haired brunette was an “A” type and spent most of her time bouncing off the walls. Still, Foxy seemed nice and noticed that Wanda was uncomfortable with strangers and welcomed her into their little group.

“No,” Foxy laughed. “Chrissy is our girlfriend and lives with us. She’s certainly big enough to be a bodyguard, but no, Chrissy is harmless, except maybe when she’s around someone as gorgeous as you!”

“I didn’t mean that she is fat!” Wanda apologized. “I tend to make incorrect assumptions under stress. I don’t do well in crowds, and being here alone is one of my worst fears!”

“Hey, no harm, no foul!” Foxy laughed. “Let’s start over. I’m Foxy. My husband Larry and I live here in this tower, and Chrissy is our long-term girlfriend and my husband’s arm candy. We all moved here from the Midwest like you and Tony.”

“Arm candy?” Wanda asked with a confused look on her face.

Chrissy and Foxy both laughed, then the big-haired brunette replied, “I can see you’re not used to the big city. Arm candy is what we call a beautiful woman at your side!”

“Oh!” Wanda replied as the term slowly started to sink in. “So her job is just to look good for you?”

Chuckling, Foxy replied, “That’s close enough for the short answer. Larry makes decent money, and having two good-looking women on your arm is better than just one. With Larry, it’s all about face.”

“Face?” Wanda asked as all these new terms were starting to overload her mind.

“Larry is a multi-generational Texan and, like a true Texan, wants everything to be bigger than real life. Face is the term he calls your outward appearance to the world, as in putting on your best face. Larry fights the battle of the Alamo and against carpetbaggers every day.”

The waitress took their food and drink orders and then disappeared. Wanda took a deep breath and tried to center herself. The two beautiful women seemed nice enough, and it would be good to meet some people. Everyone seemed to know them, and she relaxed as her stress level ramped down. She could feel the dampness spreading between her legs as the abundance of boobage kept stealing her thoughts.

Wanda smiled at Foxy, “I appreciate you taking me under your wing. This is all so upsetting to me. Tony usually handles our interests, and it’s disconcerting to be dumped here alone!”

Foxy replied, “I assume it was normal for Tony to jet off halfway around the world?”

“True,” Wanda agreed. “But, normally, everything is routine, and there’s not all this uncertainty. I don’t do well with strangers.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Chrissy said. “Foxy and I will run interference for you and take care of you until hubby returns. Besides, Foxy has never met a stranger, so stay close to her.”

Giggling, Foxy replied, “Be careful what you ask for!” Then she leaned over and kissed Wanda’s cheek.

Wanda turned bright pink with embarrassment and touched her cheek with her fingers. “Thank you, I think,” and they all laughed.

After a lovely lunch, Foxy ordered wine for the three of them, and they talked casually about nothing in particular.

“If I’m not too out of line, can I ask about Chrissy being your girlfriend? If I were you, I’d be worried about my husband being alone with her.” Wanda asked as she had to know what the deal was.

“I don’t worry about my husband, and Chrissy is the least of our problems,” Foxy said and leaned over and gave Chrissy a long passionate kiss.

Wanda didn’t know what to say as she watched Foxy’s tongue working in her girlfriend’s mouth.

Chuckling, Foxy used her thumb to wipe the lipstick off Chrissy’s mouth. Then gave her a final kiss. “See, Chrissy is my girlfriend, and Larry’s also if the truth were known.”

“Are you two lesbians?” Wanda asked, confused.

“No,” Foxy laughed. “I’m bisexual, and so is Chrissy. But, she leans a little closer to the lezzy side than I do.”

“Bisexual?”Wanda asked. What does that mean? She asked herself.

“We play for both teams,” Chrissy giggled as she ran her fingers up the inside of Wanda’s leg.

“Oh!” Wanda replied as what they were saying sunk in.

“It’s okay,” Foxy laughed. “It’s only slightly contagious, and we don’t bite. Well, not that hard anyway!”

“This is all so new to me?” Wanda replied. “You and Chrissy have sex? How does that work?”

About LarryArcher

Larry Archer's the name, smut's my game. I am a writer of erotic literature that's generally always HEA (Happily Ever After), which typically involves no regrets sex. I write in a humorous style with a plot and suitable for reading with one hand. My stories are full of sexual situations that are often taken straight from our swinger lifestyle in Las Vegas. If you want to enjoy erotica, where every page is dripping with action, give me a try.
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6 Responses to “The Perfect Wife” Available for Pre-Order

  1. Mark K says:

    Looking forward to it.

    However, I have to point out that you posted the following on Tuesday October 18th.

    “The Perfect Wife will be on her knees and available to service you by Friday, 10/17/2022”

    I checked both Smashwords and Kinky Literature and they say it will be available Friday October 21st.

    Now yes, I got a degree in physics, and actually do understand Special Relativity, and so I can comprehend a non-linear concept of time.

    But I think you might have gone astray in the space-time continuum, my friend. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations on the new release, Larry!

    Hope it does really well.


  3. kdaddy23 says:

    I used to have a problem making a character be… naive. That’s because I can’t remember being that clueless about sex (thanks to my early introduction to sex) and how people can have sex so I would have to draw on the experiences of those who I knew were that naive and, well, I didn’t think it worked all that well, but my readers seemed to enjoy it. When “making it real” – and, for me, that means having readers contact me and ask if it really happened – I “defaulted” to the real-life thing of a character knowing about something but not believing it because, well, that’s how a lot of people operate and under the auspices of, “I wouldn’t do that!” and now they’re staring it in the face and now things get really interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LarryArcher says:

      Before I was married, I used to get together with a married woman. She told me that I was the first person to have seen her naked and she had two kids. Apparently, her husband didn’t get to see her in the buff. She said she’d turn all the lights off before getting into bed. The first time we had sex, she apologized for getting wet and said that never happened before. I told her you are supposed to get wet during sex but apparently, her husband had never heard of foreplay. I wish I could have told him how good his wife was. LOL

      Liked by 1 person

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