I’m friends with a “straight” woman at my day job, and I’ll call her Susan. She’s not an office wife but just someone I’m good friends with. She’s an attractive mature woman with big blond hair. She wears stripper shoes all the time, possibly because she’s only about five feet tall, but it is a good look for me.
Like most swingers, we hide our other life as straights look down on us for it. Plus, I’ve tried to resist daytime romances as it often ends with stained back seats and irate husbands, which I don’t need in my work-a-day life.
Our conversations generally end up talking about sex, not phone sex sex but sexual topics. My office buddy has been divorced for a long time and has a son. The other day she asked me what I’d think if she decided to date another woman?
I replied with the typical guy response of, “As long as I get to watch!” When she asked why do men like that, I responded with I have no idea but it is so exciting. She went on to tell me that every guy she’s dated has turned out to be a jerk and so she’s been thinking of trying women.
I then said, “Honestly, why don’t you give it a try? There’s no downside and you may like it.”
She said that she’d asked her son if he would mind her in a relationship with a woman and he gave her the disgusted child reply, “Mom!”
Then Susan looked at me and asked, “Do you think your wife would be interested in going out with me?”
We work in an office building together and has seen my wife a couple of times. Foxy is a closet nudist and is typically minimally dressed. At six feet, she’s all leg and likes short skirts to show off her assets. Plus, being a member of the No Bra Club, it’s generally evident that the girls aren’t strapped in.
Her question about dating my wife, floored me for a minute? On the one hand, I’d love to see them in the rack together but that may start something that doesn’t end well for my job. I wasn’t sure what to say and punted with, “Possibly, but you need to ask her.”
When you’re in the Lifestyle, some guys will pimp out their wife for the opportunity to bed your wife. They will come up to you at a party and leave their wife hanging on you as they subtly work their way to your wife. While we abhor the practice, it happens more than you’d like.
I mentioned to Foxy that one of the women I work with wanted to get into her pants. We had the obligatory question and answer period as she tried to picture who she was and what she looked like. Their relationship is still up in the air as I’m waiting for Wifey to show up at her desk while looking for me.
This is a long lead in to why girls are more likely to have a girlfriend rather than a guy have a boyfriend, with apologies to Kdaddy, one of my blogger buddies.
My personal opinion is that women are raised to be bisexual and men are not. Girls hold hands, play kissy face, and go to the bathroom together. While men are raised to be more aloof and stand alone as our masculine culture requires.
Foxy and I started dating before she was twenty-one and her proclivity for bisexuality was pretty evident. In the swing scene, she’d typically rather be with another woman unless the guy would make a Shetland pony jealous.
What got me thinking about this whole girl-on-girl thing was an article on BBC I read this morning. It seems according to surveys; women are becoming more interested in other women. https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210610-why-more-women-identify-as-sexually-fluid-than-men
I’m Larry Archer and I write erotic stories for the huddled and yearning masses. Foxy and I are swingers in real life and I write about the things we do and see. While the Lifestyle is not for everyone, it’s been fun for us. My smut is explicit and hardcore but with a somewhat plot. My porn stories are generally positive and fun as this reflects how enjoyable swinging has been to us. If you’re interested in checking out my stories, I publish at all the typical outlets.
Larry Archer's World (LarryArcher.blog) 
No offense taken. I’d not say that we’re becoming gayer but we are beginning to really understand that we can find the succor we need in a same-sex way and sometimes easier. We’ve always given bisexual women a pass; yep, it’s exciting to us to see women, let’s say, being socially intimate with each other – kissing, holding hands, hugging each other and in more than a friendly way. And actually seeing them having sex with each other? About as erotic a thing that I’ve ever seen even though women get pissed because we find them being with other women so damned exciting… because it just is.
I get what you said about guys using their wives – and usually unwilling wives – as bait and it’s a practice that I abhor with a passion, and I’d love to just punch those assholes in the face a few times to let them know how fucked up that is. And, yeah, if she somehow decides that she stands a better chance of having sex with another woman, chances are very good that the asshole she’s married gave her reason to go that way. Good sex is where you find it… and it’s not always in the opposite sex way and I’ve seen a lot of women find out that there is something another woman can do for them at a swinger’s party.
But, no – not becoming gayer unless that’s what a person decides is the right way for them to be. A lot of people are, however, discovering bisexuality and, yes, probably more women than men because, as it has been said, only a woman knows what a woman needs and it’s often something that men are incapable of providing. Us bi guy do find it harder to have sex with other guys and we are often quite jealous because women don’t have that much of a hard time having sex with other women and, of course, if the other woman is okay with it. It’s… social. Okay for women to be this way, not okay for guys to be this way.
And we are, collectively, stupid enough to assume gayness when that’s not what’s really going on and, hmm, there must be something to this because there are a shitload of bisexual men and women these days… so where’s the harm in finding out for yourself? As we used to say back in the day, “Try it – you just might like it!”
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And you have to keep in mind that my use of “gayer” is in a light-hearted manner and probably was a poor choice of words. The whole post was about the article and their opinion that women were leaning more towards sex with other women than guys. People don’t always think I’m as funny as I do.
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But your usage was on-point, funny or not. Women are more likely to get involved with other women than men are and already being gay isn’t in play. That’s a fact. If one paid attention to women, they’d understand why they’re more likely to be more vim than straight… but men are scared to death about being seen as gay. Women? Eh, not so much. They are more likely to bond sexually than men are…because they’re women.
And I know what a lot of women say about having sex with men that just gets in their nerves but they don’t have to deal with that crap being with another woman. Then there’s the emotional aspects… and that’s so deep that most men can’t understand it… but other women do. Nothing to see here; it’s all so very normal and nothing new.
They are the droids you’re looking for.
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Shit. Forgot to add that men will do this for the sex… and women will do this for more than just the sex and to fill that void that even the best of us can’t begin to fill for them.
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We are definitely the knuckle draggers here and will have sex with anything better than warm mud.
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Agreed. But, um, if you and I were at a party and I asked if I could blow you, how would you react? In most party situations, just me asking would result in me being asked to leave – but my lady could stay. Still, I’ve seen folks at bisexual parties not get laid and that should tell you something.
I’m not a knuckle dragger but I am bisexual and I think, I have a better understanding about sex than most people do. Not even gay but, sure, if you’d let me blow you, I would because why not of we’re at this party to have sex? Ah, but the unwritten rule is that all sex must be heterosexual or your kind ain’t welcome here… unless your woman is bisexuals – she can stay; you don’t have to leave but you can’t stay here.
More bisexual than gay. I probably wouldn’t want to date you but I wouldn’t say no to having sex with you… but a lot of bi guys are changing their mind and they want to date guys… which one might call gay but kinda/sorta isn’t.
It’s… complicated but, nope, not becoming gayer.
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Personally, I don’t have a problem with getting a blowjob from a guy. One of our closest couples is a guy with a Hotwife. I’ve never seen him with any woman besides himself. He loves to watch his wife in action and likes to suck my cock after I bang his wife. Sexually, it doesn’t do a lot for me but who doesn’t like a good BJ? If the four of us are together, Foxy and I take care of his wife and he watches and jerks off. He loves to watch his wife get her brains screwed out and she is a drop-dead gorgeous blond MILF with a body that would look good on a twenty-year-old.
From what I’ve witnessed, most parties are guy-girl or girl-on-girl and there are generally not too many guys making out with guys. I don’t think our friends are homophobic but it doesn’t normally come up.
Probably 75% of the women are bisexual, at least passively but a good percentage play for both teams. It’s interesting after you bring it up and I’ll have to ask around to get other’s opinions?
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Great post, Larry, and I love your conversation with Kdaddy. I also found the BBC article to be insightful and intuitive.
I think there might be an additional reason that women are more comfortable with bisexuality than men. The experience of being penetrated is very intense, to the point of feeling threatening. One makes oneself very vulnerable – and I think that makes many men uncomfortable, at least with gay anal sex.
Of course there’s also the fact that most women are just more fun to look at than most men…!
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I agree with “Of course there’s also the fact that most women are just more fun to look at than most men…!” I think most people would rather look at her naked body than mine. Your comment about penetration was interesting, I’ve never thought about how that might feel to a woman. I like reading Kdaddy’s posts and find his always interesting. I just wish I could be as prolific as he is.
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You could be that prolific when you retire; I have all the time I want to just sit and write! To Lisabet, you’d be surprised at how many guys would give an arm or a leg to be penetrated; they want to know what it’s like, what positions are best for it, the best lubes, what cleans things out the best without irritation and, of course, whether it’s better with a condom or without one. It’s scary – everyone knows that it hurts going in and, true enough, a lot of men feel that it threatens their masculinity and some still believe that being screwed will make them very gay.
And, Larry? A lot of guys want to be screwed because they wonder what that feels like to a woman. You can ask and if she replies that it feels good, well, that’s not much of an answer – it’s not easy to explain and even when I was writing erotica, a lot of my attempts to describe what that feels like felt… cheesy.
Overall, women are “more comfortable” because they’re not all that afraid of being targeted as being lesbians; guys are less comfortable because of all of the angst we’ve displayed about gay men – those guys have not helped bisexual guys at all and, I think, unintentionally but, still – if a guy is having sex with another guy, they’re both gay. A lot of men, however, eschew both the bi and gay labels and just do what they wanna do.
Finally, Larry, my man, you had me laughing when you said that a guy could blow you but it doesn’t do anything for you sexually… but who doesn’t like a good blow job? You sound like a lot of guys I know but the question is that if a guy blows you and it feels good – and really good if he entices you to cum, how can it not do anything for you sexually?
It does. It’s just not something you’d do as a matter of course and as a regular part of your sexual diet. Personal preference, of course, but there are some guys who don’t mind the occasional male blowjob because they feel that it doesn’t disturb (1) their masculinity and (2) their preferred way to have sex with women. I wouldn’t say that you’re bisexual but we’re getting to the point where the labels are losing their original meanings and a lot of people are starting see this as I’ve seen it all of my life: It’s sex. We can have it with anyone if we want to and if they don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Women are more likely, I think, to want a girlfriend than men want a boyfriend but, having said that, there are a lot of men who want that one FWB so that they can reap the benefits of a relationship – even a purely sexual one – without any of the responsibilities that comes with having an official boyfriend.
Even in this, many of us bi guys do not see this as being gay.
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I have to wonder if the shift in power dynamics between men and women over the past 60 odd years has played any role in your observation about women being more interested in women.
Prior to the beginnings of the women’s liberation movement, the “roles” of men and women in society were pretty well established, and had been that way for virtually forever.
Since then, things have changed dramatically. Heck its gone so far in some areas that one even hears the term “toxic masculinity” tossed about.
So, in a sense, there are plenty of men who behave in a fashion that, for lack of a better term is “more feminine”.
I’m not suggesting that’s a bad thing, simply that it could act to blur the lines between the sexes. That is, getting involved with a woman, from a personality/behavior standpoint, isn’t as much of a shift as it would have been in the past.
Funny thing is, Fifty Shades of Gray was such a major best seller, and involved a man dominating a woman. One wouldn’t think a feminist would go for such a thing, but a huge number of women clearly found the idea appealing.
so maybe there is some hope for us Neanderthals 😉
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I remember when 50 Shades hit. Foxy was in Phoenix visiting and called me to order her the book as she hates to read on a computer or phone. She said that all the “straight” girls were talking about this book. I read the book and thought this is the worst piece of trash I’ve ever read but the author made millions from it.
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