How to Pick Up Chicks At A Bar

In the spirit of helping my fellow man get laid, I’ve decided to share some of my secrets with lonely guys out there. Please don’t share what I’m about to let you in on as the world will not be safe if everyone knows the secret.

I’m not even going to charge you for this bit of advice as I used to be in your shoes myself, and this is my way of paying back for the great advice I’ve received along the way.

The problem a lot of guys have is what do you say to the hot girl sitting at the bar all alone. Do you get tongue-tied and your brain stops working as you stare at her beautiful boobs in that low cut top.

One of the things that work for me is a business card that allows you to introduce yourself and get over that initial moment’s hesitation as you struggle for something witty to say.

The following image is that of the business card that I’ve linked below. All you have to do is go to an office supply store and get a box of printable business cards. Then print as many cards as you think your dick will stand.

Please start slowly as I can’t be responsible for any injuries to your private parts that you may sustain if you pass out too many of these cards.

No longer will you go home with blue balls, just hand the girl this card and see how quickly she reacts to your smooth line of seduction!

Click here to download a printable page of business cards that are guaranteed to get a reaction from every girl you give it to.

Good Hunting from Larry Archer!

About LarryArcher

Larry Archer's the name, smut's my game. I am a writer of erotic literature that's generally always HEA (Happily Ever After), which typically involves no regrets sex. I write in a humorous style with a plot and suitable for reading with one hand. My stories are full of sexual situations that are often taken straight from our swinger lifestyle in Las Vegas. If you want to enjoy erotica, where every page is dripping with action, give me a try.
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4 Responses to How to Pick Up Chicks At A Bar

  1. Did you *really* do this? ;^)
    I’ll give your readers some more advice. Make the woman feel special. It’s okay to signal that you’re attracted to her and would maybe like to have sex, but be clear that you’re interested in *her* in particular, not just any body with tits and a pussy.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. LarryArcher says:


    Give me a little credit, this is a joke. You should know by now that I have a weird sense of humor and don’t treat a lot of things with much seriousness. For the record, I don’t pick up chicks at a bar and treat that as juvenile behavior. If I want to get lucky, I’ll just go home.

    Certainly, if it involves another couple, that might be a different story. Foxy and I were talking about this last night. I have a straight girl from work who is always hitting on me or at least it appears she is hitting on me. Originally, it starting out that one of the married guys I work with was complaining that the new admin who works nearby wouldn’t talk to him. She’s cute, been divorced for a long time and a fairly decent MILF, blonde with big-hair, which is unusual nowadays except for Wifey.

    He talks about her but she wouldn’t talk to him. I’ve never really talked to her besides hello. So I made it a point to talk to her in the break room, which is a common walkway from our department to other parts of the building. We’ve become friends and I’ve had to help her with computer problems as I’ve become local support for computer problems before anyone calls IT.

    Now she comes over to my office and talks to me to the chagrin of my friend. I always try and bring him into the conversation if I’m talking to her and he walks by but he says that he gets tongue-tied around her. Now the guys kid me about her coming over to see me. Personally, I think it’s the fact that I don’t hit on her that makes her come by and see me as I’m not someone she has to fight off.

    It’s gotten funny as she told me that she’s been thinking about trying women out as she’s had poor luck with men. Then the other day she made a comment about my wife and if she’s ever dated a woman. I’m not sure where that idea came from except she’s seen pictures of Foxy on my screen saver slide show since I do so much photography. I just made some non-committable response and laughingly told Wifey that my co-worker was interested in a date. Work and romance is something I steer away from since it’s fraught with danger. I’ll introduce her the next time Foxy comes by for lunch but she’ll have to chase her own rabbits. LOL


  3. Mark K says:

    “Personally, I think it’s the fact that I don’t hit on her that makes her come by and see me as I’m not someone she has to fight off.”

    Based on my experience, I’d say that’s a big factor.

    In the dim and distant past, before i got married, I found that it was much harder to break the ice and talk to women if I was single, than if I was dating someone.

    I always thought it was because when i was dating someone, i wasn’t really interested in picking them up, and they could sense that.

    I don’t know if it was a comfort thing with them or a “challenge”, that I wasn’t interested.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LarryArcher says:

      With me, it was always feast or famine. I’d not have a girlfriend and then I’d have too many and would have to cull the herd. 🙂

      Oh, I haven’t forgotten but it appears that the original home use program is history. Now you just get a discount.


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