An interesting topic that seems to come up a lot is, does swinging end up in divorce?
I read the other day that 2% of swinger couples end up divorced. Then there was another study which said that 92% of open marriages end in divorce.
What does this mean and are swingers headed to divorce court or are you the 98% who make it? I had to stop and think of these two extremes to try and understand what’s really going on.
First, we have to define some terms as swingers, polyamorous, open, and monogamous marriages have different meanings to a lot of people.
As a swinger, I believe that a lot of “straights,” tend to misunderstand us and believe that we’re all on the way to hell. Let’s talk about the basic types of relationships and then try to make sense of what’s the most stable one.
Monogamous couples are those who are not supposed to stray, which is where the “mono” part comes from.
Swingers are couples who throw their house keys in a bowl and go home with a different person every night, Not! Swingers have recreational sex with others, but it’s usually not a free for all.
Polyamorous couples have multiple partners or family units. A guy may have two or more girlfriends who know about each other. They may also have multiple families. It’s sort of like polygamy except it’s not all fun for the guys. Girls can get in on the action also.
Open marriages are couples who have agreed to see other people. So your wife can have a date on Friday night that doesn’t involve you.
Now that we’ve broadly categorized couples, let’s try and make sense of the whole thing.
Starting with monogamous couples, which is supposed to be the “correct” way, statistics tell us that roughly 50% will end in divorce. So only half of your will be until death do you part, while the other half is on Ashley Madison getting your brains fucked out.
There is a lot of reasons for straight people to get a divorce, such as boredom or trading up. Your hot admin with those short skirts and big tits seems a lot more appealing than your wife back home with the rug rats. How often does your wife greet you with a blowjob like your administrative assistant does?
As a guy, most of our decisions are made by our little buddy who lives in our pants, commonly known as the one-eyed trouser snake. Let’s face it, we’re lazy, and it makes a lot more sense to let our dick make all our decisions for us.
A lot of guys give their dick a name because you would not want a total stranger to make all your decisions for you, right? So the little woman will never notice that you come home with lipstick stains on your boxers, or worse your little buddy.
By the same token, hubby might notice that Wifey has pecker tracks on her face or that she comes home less the bra and with her panties around one ankle.
These little indiscretions will quickly put you in front of Judge Judy as you divide everything in half. Remember the Samarai Lawyer on Saturday Night Live?
Now, swingers get to go to parties and bang that hot admin or suck the dick of some guy who has to tuck it in their socks. Just like straight people, we fuck others except with the permission of our spouses and at the end of the night go home with the other half.
The nice thing about swinging is that you don’t have to worry about coming home with your underwear inside out or missing, because it doesn’t matter as you’ll laugh about the whole thing.
For me, the biggest downside is that my wife and I both like the same types of girls. This means that after I chat her up, Wifey will swoop in and take her off my hands. It’s a little embarrassing to admit that you always get sloppy seconds from your wife! But, at least she usually lets me watch.
It’s always better if you can go to a party and pick up some hottie or hunk, and it doesn’t involve sneaking off to Motel 6 with Tom Bodette. This way you can scratch your itch without having to hide your wedding ring.
This is a long way of saying, divorce is rare for swingers, and while I’m not sure that 98% of swingers don’t divorce, I know the actual number is really low. Looking at couples we know, there have been two couples who swapped wives. They both got divorced and married the other half. This, to me, was a little weird because they could have just kept on swapping at parties without the expense of divorce court.
We’ve had two couples who the wife left her husband for another woman. Which to me doesn’t sound like that bad of a deal as long as I get to watch?
Other than that as best I can think of everyone is still with their original partner.
Certainly, swinging is not right for everyone and will not fix a bad marriage but will only hasten its demise. For the rest of us, it seems to work out okay.