First of all, it’s freezing in Las Vegas. How can you expect to see any showgirls or drunk tourists when it’s 41 degrees in Sin City? The weather aside, I learned a bunch of new things this week. First, it appears that smoking dope will cure COVID and who would have thunk it?
Then last night, during my COVID treatment, I saw President Biden on SNL, and he revealed the secret that COVID is caused by watching the Spiderman movie. So for God’s sake, don’t see Spiderman but stay home and watch porn on your laptop. Watching smut and treating yourself to the COVID treatment is a lot better, except you need three hands. One for stuffing Doritos in your mouth, another to fast forward through the slow spots, and then one for self-gratification!
After being flushed with the success of publishing two print books, In My Dreams and House Party, I decided to take on Stripper or Nurse? So, yesterday, I spent another headbanging session with QuarkXPress, which caused me to take two COVID treatments and a family-size bag of chips.
Stripper or Nurse? was my first foray into print publishing and was released through Creative Spaces and created with an older version of Quark. Amazon sucked up creative Spaces, and with my newfound skillset of Quark, I decided that the novel should be refreshed and republished. For more on Stripper or Nurse?, click this link.
In my simple-minded approach, I naively thought I could just import the original story created with an older version of QuarkXPress but no, no, no.
Apparently, even though the import process didn’t show any error messages, the problems were lurking in the background. So, after fighting my way through the apparent issues and fixing several of my mistakes, I created a PDF file to upload to Amazon.
Naturally, my new version was longer, which required me to resize the cover image. The cover image is the width of the front and back sides plus the spine. More pages mean the spine is wider, hence adjusting the cover width.
By the time I had recreated the body and cover PDFs, it was ten at night. Before COVID, I would have been getting laid about this time, but now no exchanging bodily fluids for us. The novel body PDF was over one hundred megabytes in size and took forever for Amazon to process.
About the time I decided to take another COVID treatment, the preview copy popped up on my screen. I saw that the cover dimensions were exemplary due to my prodigious knowledge of desktop publishing and started to flip through the pages of my novel. However, as my COVID treatment started to kick in, I suddenly realized that some of the text was out of place!
Digging into it with Quark, who had obviously had a couple of COVID treatments also, it dawned on me that there was some screw-up in the underlying page format. I’m assuming that there is a conversion error between the versions of Quark I was using.
Now I’m back in front of Quark and will probably need my ball gag to satisfy the sadistic electronic bitches in fixing Stripper or Nurse? So I’m switching to the nuclear option of creating new chapters with the 2021 version of Quark, then copy and paste the original text into the latest version.
The only bright spot was that I ran across a copy of the artwork I used to create Nina, the Fallen Ballerina. She looks so much like Foxy, it makes my dick hard just to look at that image. Also, a couple of years ago, I did a post on the girls that are on my book covers, and it’s amazing how most of them look like Foxy.
I’m Larry Archer, and I write erotic stories for the huddled and yearning masses. Foxy and I are swingers in real life, and I write about the things we do and see. While the Lifestyle is not for everyone, it’s been fun for us. My smut is explicit and hardcore but with a somewhat plot. My porn stories are generally positive and fun as this reflects how enjoyable swinging has been to us. If you’re interested in checking out my stories, I publish at all the typical outlets.