While You’re Home and Tired of Jerking Off

Cuckold Club - First Date
Cuckold Club – First Date

Now that you’ve been told to stay home and shelter in place, hopefully with pay, what are you going to do?

Keep in mind that May is national masturbation month, so it would probably be a good thing to practice, so you don’t get caught flat-footed.

My Mom told me that if I didn’t stop playing with myself, I would go blind or grow hair on the palms of my hand. I decided that I would just stop when I needed glasses. The funny thing is that it doesn’t seem to be getting worse, and I only have to shave my palms once a week.

Now with two weeks or a month off, why don’t you finish your masterpiece so that we could jerk off to your story? It’s not nice to keep all that smut to yourself.

If we concentrate on publishing to SmashWords or Amazon, it’s pretty simple. Here’s what I recommend to get started.

  1. If you haven’t already done it, set up an account on SmashWords.com and Amazon Kindle at https://kdp.amazon.com.
  2. No matter who you plan on submitting to, download the free SmashWords Style Guide at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/52 The formatting for both sites is basically the same.
  3. Read the Style Guide for help in organizing your story.
  4. Don’t be fancy. Use Times Roman 12 point type throughout. Certainly, your title can use a bolder font, but keep in mind that an electronic book (.epub or .mobi), some devices display differently than others. Using a basic layout ensures that your loving fans will not have problems reading your porn. Just remember to clean off your keyboard after reading and use lube if necessary to avoid friction burns.
  5. Your masterpiece is broken up into six components:
    a. Cover image
    b. Title page
    c. Copyright page
    d. Table of Contents
    e. Body (the dirty part)
    f. Back matter
  6. The Cover, Title, Copyright, and Table of Contents are called Front Matter, the Body is the story itself, and the Back Matter contains any advertising or things like About the Author.
  7. The Cover Image should be a 300 DPI JPG sized 1600 pixels wide x 2400 pixels high. I use CorelDraw, which is pricy, and often you can buy one or two versions back on Amazon for about $150 bucks. As long as the version you get runs on your operating system, there is not a lot of difference. InkScape is a free substitute that appears to be very close to CorelDraw. Photoshop, GIMP, or any image processing software can be used, but programs like CorelDraw are designed for creating cover images.
  8. The Title, Copyright, and Table of Contents can be created by copying the examples in the Style Guide and modifying them as required. DO NOT link to any website that is not the site you are publishing to and your site. For example, if you have a link to a SmashWords page on your Amazon book, they will reject your story. What I do is do a global search for SmashWords or Amazon on the final document and ensure that there are no search results for SmashWords on the Amazon publication and vice versa.
  9. Using Word or LibreOffice, setup the Normal stylesheet and Heading1 stylesheet as follows. Certainly, you don’t have to do what I do, but this is what works for me.
  10. Normal Style: (everything but the headings basically)
    a. Times Roman, 12 point, normal
    b. Indent first line 0.3 inches.
    c. I use ragged left paragraph formatting
    b. 1.15 paragraph line spacing
    c. 6 points after the paragraph
    d. Automatically update
  11. Heading1
    a. Times Roman, 18 point, bold
    b. First-line indent 0.01 inches
    c. Centered
    d. 42 points before paragraph
    e. 12 points after paragraph
    f. Page break before
    g. Keep with next
    h. Automatically update
  12. This may seem a little complex, but once you get your formatting saved in Word or other word processing system, the second story is straightforward.
  13. In the body of the story, do not mention any website; that way, the body will be generic.
  14. To compile a full version, then take a copy of the body and save it to a folder for full copies of your stories. Add the front matter to the body and the back matter to the back of the story.
  15. Once you have a full copy, then go through and create a bookmark at every chapter and any other parts that need to be linked in the Table of Contents. On the TOC page, add an entry for every chapter and locations that you’ve bookmarked. Link the TOC entries to the appropriate bookmark. Be sure and click the option to show all bookmarks. Delete any bookmark that you don’t link.
  16. Once you finish the components of your story, then publish them to your preferred publisher. I recommend starting with SmashWords first, as your story will be published within a few minutes.
  17. During the publishing process, download the converted file in either ePub or MOBI format. Open the converted file with Calibre or other reader and look for any problems. If something didn’t display properly, fix it and republish.

Any questions give me an email. If you’re lazy and want to read someone else’s smut, give my stuff a try. https://LarryArcher.blog/stories

Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer


About LarryArcher

Larry Archer's the name, smut's my game. I am a writer of erotic literature that's generally always HEA (Happily Ever After), which typically involves no regrets sex. I write in a humorous style with a plot and suitable for reading with one hand. My stories are full of sexual situations that are often taken straight from our swinger lifestyle in Las Vegas. If you want to enjoy erotica, where every page is dripping with action, give me a try.
This entry was posted in About, adult, am writing, bareback, BDSM, Blogger, cuckold, cuckolding, Erotic Stories, erotica, Erotika, First Time, foxy and larry, gangbang, Hotwife, humorous, kinky literature, Larry Archer, Las Vegas, lesbian, masturbation, Mistress/sub, NSFW, sexual awareness, sexy girls, Strip Clubs, Swinging, The Fox's Den, voyeurism, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to While You’re Home and Tired of Jerking Off

  1. Lola & H.H. says:

    Hi Larry,
    I’ll tell you what, you can send me a photo of you jackin’ it to my pics and then post more of you and your sexy hotwife for the rest of us to get off to.

    Lots of Love,


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mark K says:

    Why do you say to make a bookmark to build a TOC?
    Can’t you use the headings to make a TOC?
    I do it all the time in Word, and it seems to be valid when I’ve made epub’s with Calibre.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LarryArcher says:


    I didn’t know that you could do that. Got a link on how to do that?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mark K says:

      Larry, building a TOC in Word with headings is pretty easy.
      In Word click on the References tab and choose Table of Contents on the far left. Then choose custom table of contents.
      In the new window, you should be on the TOC tab.
      It defaults to listing the styles heading 1 – 3. You can add more headings (i.e., 4 – 7) or less.
      So if you want subchapters, if you’ve got an anthology of separate books, each of which has it’s own chapters, just use heading 2, heading 3, etc. as appropriate in the document.
      The TOC is a hyperlink.
      In Word you have to hold the Ctrl key when you click on it, but in an epub created with Calibre it’s a standard hyperlink.
      All the “heading” styles, numbered items, and captions are built in to be hyperlinks in Word. That’s how the cross reference feature works.
      Now one thing you might find is that having the heading styles have the “page break before” enabled, may screw up the TOC.
      I’ve seen manual page breaks, formatting, etc. be passed through to a TOC or a cross reference in some of the technical documents I do for work.
      If that’s the case, then simply do a manual page break for the chapter heading text, before you apply the heading style.

      I suspect the issue with highlighting the whole title is that you will include the paragraph mark or manual line break at the end of the line in the bookmark.
      That likely will cause the same issue I mentioned about about cross references and TOC being passed through.

      Liked by 1 person

      • LarryArcher says:

        Mark, thanks for the info. I’ll give that a try. I’m using Scrivener for at least the next couple of stories and it takes care of this but I want to understand the process. I really appreciate your detailed suggestions.


  4. lisabetsarai says:

    You *can* use headings for a TOC, but Kindle wants a hyperlinked TOC, so I’m pretty sure you need bookmarks.
    Also, I recently learned that you should NOT highlight the whole title before creating a bookmark. This makes the epub converter on Smashwords choke. Instead, just put the cursor right before the heading.
    Great article, Larry. I hope you encourage the production and publication of lots of great smut!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. LarryArcher says:


    You’re right about the creating a bookmark trick. I’ve learned that myself. There are things I’ve learned that I do defensively to avoid potential problems with either Amazon or SmashWords. The thing is that you want your manuscript to be acceptable to both publishers. This ensures that you can use the same .DOC file with either publisher. Now that I’ve “sort of” switched to Scrivener, it creates TOC’s a lot easier. If I had the time, I’d write my own version of Scrivener to write with that dumbs down the program. In my mind, Scrivener tries to be all things to all people and along the way fucks up the process by being too smart for people who just want to write simple books.


  6. Mark K says:

    Oh, and I forgot to mention, if you’re using Word one thing you should do is to configure it so that fields are always shaded. That way the TOC , cross references, caption #’s, etc. will show up shaded and you know it’s an automated thing created by Word.

    Click on “file” and then “options” at the bottom left.
    Click on “advanced” and scroll about 1/3 of the way down till you find the “Show document content”.
    Set the field shading to “always”

    Liked by 1 person

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