Every day we pick up the paper or tune into the news and find yet another Senator or elected official who has been caught sending dicpics to a coworker or wife of a friend. I decided to get ahead of the game and apologize before someone calls me out on this.

So in case I sent you or your wife/significant other a picture of my dick and you didn’t approve, I’m truly sorry and will never do it again. And I promise I won’t call your wife anymore to meet me at the motel down the street. After all, what are friends for.