As a struggling author trying to keep the wolf away from the door and helping with my charitable donations to the cute little stripper at the gentleman’s club, I live for good sales figures. 🙂

Seriously, Amazon is really starting to show me some love and I appreciate it. Over the last couple of months, my author’s rank at Amazon is often in the 400-500 rank and I’d be the first to say that I’m impressed. If you don’t think being the 500th most popular author is good, consider the fact that there are over 10,000 authors publishing Kindle stuff.

I’ve recently started publishing in Kindle Select (KDP) and Kindle Unlimited (KU). KU is the deal where you pay $10/month for all you can read. I’ve had two new stories in Select and Unlimited for about 2 weeks and currently getting around 500 page reads per day, which in my mind is a good start especially for only 2 of my almost 15 published stories in KDP and KU.

But if the truth were known, I am indebted to my readers, who buy my smut, most of all. My journey as a writer of porn started almost four years ago and has been really interesting. Wifey and I are in “The Lifestyle”, which is a polite way of saying that we swap wives and throw our keys into a bowl to be picked out at the end of the night.

That’s not all it’s cracked up to be as you get someone’s house keys then spend half the night driving from house to house trying to see which door you can get unlocked. There should be an easier way to do this?

When I got started in this racket, I was reading some porn one day and said to myself, “I can do that!” Then I tried writing a few stories to see how hard it was and the biggest thing you have to learn is how to type with one hand and jerk off with the other. After all if your stories don’t make your dick hard then how do you expect others to feel the same way?

What I’ve found is that I find writing porn really satisfying and sometimes quite messy. I keep telling my wife not to talk with her mouth full, except when it dribbles down her chin and drips on her boobs!

With indie publishing, everybody and his brother is writing a book. A friend of mine  has me helping his wife write some Viking story about raping and pillaging. Mostly raping as I’m discovering that she has a kinky side, which I’m not sure my friend knows about.

I find this extremely funny as they have no idea what we do for fun and I’m trying to decide if I should invite them to experience the dark side but without the swords and hats with horns on them but with a lot of raping and pillaging!

I belong to several author’s groups where we get together and cry on each other’s shoulders about sales. One author recently commented that he had written an erotic story of 10,000 words and no one had gotten laid yet. Fuck me, 10,000 words and no sex, that’s a 13-year-old’s worst nightmare. My stuff is a little different, you normally can’t make it past the title page before someone is getting stuffed. I’ve always felt that if you want to be tittilated then you need fuck’n and suck’n and a bunch of it. Otherwise, James Patterson is a safe bet.

My stories have a lot of sex in them but I’d like to think that the plot is somewhat reasonable with decent spelling and use of the English language. Plus I use my party experiences to base my stories on and don’t have to try and dream up what people might do when the shades are pulled.

What I have realized is that being in the Lifestyle, there is no dearth of new ideas for a story. I often write about people I know, have been with, or seen and the kinky things they do. Naturally the names are changed to protect the guilty and sorry but I can’t share the pictures and videos.

Swingers are somewhat like a secret society, with a secret handshake, and I realized early on that things we consider “normal” are not very normal to straights, except maybe in their wildest dreams. Like going to a party where someone in the living room is giving out blowjobs to everyone, while people are standing around talking and waiting their turn.

So if you are ever kind to me and buy one of my stories, the tales written therein have a lot of truth and similarity with our lifestyle. Maybe a little edgier but I’m not sure if there is anything I’ve written that I haven’t done or watched at a house party.

If you’ve made it this far and are interested in my work, check out the links below. Hint – SmashWords, Excitica, and AllRomanceEbook have some free stories, which will cost you on Amazon due to their pricing restrictions.

As always, when you read a story from any author, be kind and leave a review and rating as that means a lot to us scribes as we are all attention whores.

Larry’s Stories on Amazon,
on SmashWords,
on iBooks,
on Barnes & Noble,
on KOBO,
on Excitica,
and on All Romance eBooks.

P.S. I love this picture off my latest eStory cover. That girl looks so much like my wife, sexy, tall and leggy. Except wifey has curly (bushy) hair like an 80’s porn star.