Unless you’ve been living under a rock, then you’ve heard about the Ashley Madison database hack, where people who signed up to have an affair have had their information published.

Personally as a swinger, I find this whole thing a hoot except for the damage done to couples whose spouse has found out their partner has been playing Hide the Weenie.

Since I think most of my readers are perverts then no further explanation of Ashley Madison should be necessary. Wifey, the other night, asked me if my name was going to pop up in the list of philanders but after I got through laughing said, “I think I went to the site once after hearing about it but never created a username or anything.”

In the work-a-day world, it is common for people to have affairs but to me that’s just too much work. Trying to make up a story about where you were and why you came home with your underwear on backwards is just too much trouble.

For those in the Lifestyle, when you meet someone you want to hookup with, you can simply tell the other half that you’ll be gone for an hour or so and go get your lights drilled out. No fighting, no lying, and no evil looks when your wife discovers a pair of panties in your pocket on laundry day.

The big point that I want to make here is first think everything through. I know that it’s a lot easier to let your little buddy make all the decisions for you but he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

I remember once laying in bed, post-cotial, when the woman I was with informed me that her husband was a State Highway Patrol officer. Up until that point it had been all fun and games but I could just see myself being shot for resisting arrest on the side of the highway, while handcuffed behind my back.

If you’re going to do something that you might regret later, always create a separate email address for yourself such as BigDick@gmail.com. Never log into that email or any website from work as most sites log your IP address, which can be used to identify which computer you used.

If you’ve got to pay for membership, see if you can use PayPal as it adds another layer of separation between the philandering you and the straight you.

You might also ask your other half if he or she would like to get some strange stuff without coming to blows? In the world of swingers, you can do this without fear of your name on Ashley Madison or Farmer’s Only. This way you can both share in the fun without having to lie about it.