I recently responded to another poster regarding some issues and questions she was experiencing in the party scene (swinging) and after creating the blog response, I thought this might be something other newbies to the Lifestyle might be interested in. Below are several things for you to think about if you’re sticking your toe into the pond of alternate lifestyles, swinging, wife swapping, orgies, gang bangs, facial parties, or pulling a train. Please excuse the fact that I often take a somewhat humorous slant on life, so forgive any of my inappropriate, insensitive, or stupid comments. Couple on Couple or Newbie Swapping When you first enter the Lifestyle, a common desire is for one couple to find another couple to party with. I think that this is often a reaction to the whole scene and you are trying to retain some control over everything. It has suddenly dawned on you that your wife (husband) is also on the market as a free agent. At first you were thinking about getting laid yourself without realizing that the same rules applied to both halves of the couple. Now if you go to a big party, you are afraid that your wife will crawl out a couple of days later, panties around one ankle and a dazed and satisfied look on her face. Actually this might be more likely with two couples rather than 10 or 40. What actually happens is that with a larger pool size, you can mill around and get to know people. This will give you both the opportunity to relax and feel more comfortable with the people and the goings on. You don’t have to do everyone, no matter how nice that sounds and in the partying scene, “NO” really means “NO.” No one is going to drag you or your spouse to the middle of the room to check your gag reflex. What typically happens is that you talk to someone and if you are interested, simply say, “Would you like to party?” Then one of two things might possibly occur, (1) you will get your lights drilled out or (2) “No, not right now.” That’s how easy it is handled, of course if your wife has her hand in his pants, you might just say, “Have fun dear!” With me there is a third possibility, if I’m talking to some hot chick, my wife might saunter over and steal her away from me. Then to rub it in, I’ll get a blow by blow description of how good the girl was I almost got. But honestly, my wife is a good sport and will normally share or at least I get to watch. Point is that when at a House Party, it’s just like a normal neighborhood party except you get to fuck the host. If you don’t feel comfortable or don’t connect with the person, just say NO. Be polite and don’t throw up on their new Jimmy Choos, just say, “Not right now, I’m enjoying the woman telling us about her first gang bang.” When heaven forbid, you get kicked to the curb, don’t take it personally and don’t keep on asking. Chances are that it wouldn’t be that great anyway. Remember in swinging it is perfectly acceptable for the woman to make the first move and ask if you want to see her etchings or possibly her new thong. This is supposed to be fun and your spouse isn’t going to run off with them or chain themselves to their car door. This is not love, it is sex pure and simple. What we’ve found out is that couple to couple has a poor chance of success. For whatever reason, two perfectly good couples still don’t ensure that everyone will like the other one they are partnered with. For us getting together at a house party, gives you the opportunity to pick the right one for you or not as the case may be. Subconsciously you know that you’re going to have to fuck who you’re partnered with when there is only two couples and that adds a lot of pressure to perform when there is just 4 of you. Especially if you’ve driven hours to get together with them. Put it this way, if I called wifey and said I’m coming home to fuck your brains out, I can almost guarantee that I would not get any yet throw her into a party and it’s “Hello sailor! Me Love You Long Time.” I think the take-a-way here is that initially the unspoken requirement to get together with someone may just be the straw that broke the camel’s back especially for women in general. Now having said that, for people who’ve been in the party scene for awhile it’s often a lot more comfortable to just get naked and lay in a pile. We have couples we run with and it’s sort of come over maybe have a drink and talk for a few minutes then take our clothes off and jump into the rack. But this can’t be the expected scenario for everyone especially a lot of women. House Party Similar to the previous section, especially for newbies, if you go to a house party (and the bigger the better), you don’t have the pressure to perform and don’t have the guilt of being the party pooper. It’s a lot easier to mix and if (and I mean IF) you find someone you are interested in, you can party with them. That way the only person you have to please is yourself and your bedmate. Certainly you can either do the nasty separately or with your partner but it eliminates the necessity that all four of you are compatible as couples. Hopefully I’m not beating this to death but if you go to a party or function where there are enough people that you are not in the situation where everyone else is off having the time of their lives and you and one other person are in the living room looking at each other. Maybe you are both thinking that I might have to take one for the team and do a “charity fuck” to make everyone happy. I can assure you that even as a guy, who typically would be happy sticking it into some warm mud, it’s always a lot better to have an enthusiastic partner rather than one who checks for text messages the whole time. If you actually have a headache or just don’t feel attracted to anyone, you can still stand around and talk knowing that the rest of the party goers will be happy. We on a regular basis go to a party and not get laid plus we may even decide to nail our partner (just don’t tell anyone). She’s Doing Stuff She Never Does With Me? Depending on whether there are some of the initial issues with watching your spouse scream about how big his cock is or that nobody has ever been this big or deep and you’re expecting her to put on a dog collar and hand him the leash (substitute correct terms for your spouse such as pussy, etc) keep in mind that some of this is show and don’t get offended, just appreciate what a good time they are having. They still love you and we always put a little extra into it when it’s a new person. I’ll always remember one couple that we introduced to the lifestyle and it turns out he’s hung like a horse. Most girls think I’m reasonably endowed but he was twice as big. We took them to their first party and I wanted to get together with her and so we invited them back to a bedroom. When my wife saw the size of his cock, she was instantly on her knees and sucked him off before we could even get into bed. I had never seen her do anything remotely like that before. Then to top it off, his wife made a comment like “Well he’s done for the night.” which is something that you never tell my wife. I think she got him off four times that night to both his wife’s and my amazement. From then on, she drools everything you mention his name. Later on she said, “Well he had a big dick but you are a better fuck.” then picturing her with her legs in the air screaming, I’m not too sure! 🙂 Anyway I love to see her having fun whether I’m getting any or not. Be Considerate and Try Not To Let Your Little Buddy Make All The Decisions Always be considerate of your partner and guys you can skip getting lucky one time if for what ever reason she’s not in the mood. I used to be guilty of this and was like a kid locked in a candy store but surprisingly my wife never bitched and eventually I learned to moderate myself. But try to be sure that your partner is having a good time and don’t force her into anything. Some guys who have a hot wife will pimp her out so they can get together with your partner, try to resist this as it’s really tacky. You wouldn’t want your wife to pimp you out and make you fuck a bunch of girls would you? Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound like such a bad idea as I think about it, I may change my mind. LOL Getting Started The first time two new couples get together, you often sit there thinking, “How do I get started?” or would it be okay to ask her to sit on my face? This is the time that it works well if one couple is experienced. If you are having trouble getting started, let the girls get together first, assuming both are bi or somewhat bi. When you sit down, have the two girls sit next to each other and then hope for nature to take over. Two girls, kissing and carrying on, is so hot (from most guy’s perspective) and typically it doesn’t raise any jealously issues with new people. Then when everyone is fired up, the guys can step in and close the deal. If it turns out that your wife or the other girl get together themselves, don’t automatically assume that you’re invited to the party. Hopefully you get to at least watch but don’t barge in without an invite. Worst come to worst, she can tell you every detail or let you suck her fingers, later when you’re in the saddle. To me, there is nothing hotter than kissing my wife when she tastes like pussy. Get Naked Before You Get Into Bed A hint from wifey, when we first got into the party scene. She would want to climb in the rack with some guy but after getting on the bed with her clothes on would get cold feet. It’s not that she didn’t want to but the first times, it is often difficult especially if you are raised in a strong religious family and have heard all your life about being a slut and it not being your hubby, etc. So she recommends that when you go back to the bedroom, strip off before you get into bed. It makes it a lot hard to chicken out when push comes to shove. You know that you want to and it just makes it easier. Certainly don’t take this to mean that you have to climb into the rack with everyone who asks you and if you get cold feet, just say so and go back to the party. Everyone at some time was a newbie and if they can’t respect that, they didn’t deserve to get in your pants in the first place. Girl on Girl For you girls out there, don’t feel embarrassed to ask some sweet thing to fuck your brains out. The only thing I plead with you is to call me and let me watch. A big chunk of the girls play for both teams and it’s not uncommon to see them making out at parties and going to the back room together. Guys make sure you’re invited and if you can only watch or will it be a full contact event. I know that no girl will resist your big hard dick but wait for an invitation if you see some girl riding your wife’s face. Just go stand in the corner and choke your chicken like a good boy.